tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694576246700895312024-03-13T07:16:26.457-07:00Heart BeatsIt is in pain that we find the meaning of life.dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.comBlogger117125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-87288336638547269092024-03-11T11:03:00.000-07:002024-03-11T11:03:14.755-07:00Every dog has his day<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Boo Boo</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">George</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The world’s tallest dog met the world’s shortest in Central Park when they both made their Manhattan debuts to have measurements taken for the "Guinness Book of World Records." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Giant George the Great Dane, who's almost 5 years old, measured 3 feet 5 inches from the ground to the top of his shoulders, and 7 feet 3 inches from his tail to his nose. On the other end of the canine spectrum, Boo-Boo the Chihuahua measured only 4 inches tall and 6.5 inches long.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">“George eats about 110 lbs a week,” the dog’s owner, Dave Nasser, said.</span><span style="font-size: x-small;"> At 245 lbs, he weighs as much as above an average body builder.</span><span style="font-size: x-small;">In a stark contrast, Boo-Boo, at 1.5 lbs., is smaller than a slice of a pizza.</span><span style="font-size: x-small;">When the tiny Chihuahua was born from C-Section, she was a third of the size of the other puppies, and had to be fed</span><span style="font-size: x-small;"> from an eyedropper because "she was too little to nurse.”</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The two dogs may be different, but both seemed equally confused at the Guinness Book of World Records event.Experts say after the initial confusions,George recognised Boo Boo as a girl dog and showed some interest in her,and probably cast some romantic passes at her.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The worlds tallest man and shortest woman also met recently during the Guiness event.Both were Turkish.At eight feet three inches and still growing, Sultan Kossesn</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">, 28, currently holds the Guinness World Record for tallest living man.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The shortest woman , ElifKocoman,22, lives with her family in Kadirli. She is just 28.6 inches tall.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Unlike the case of George and Boo Boo,there was no confusion between Sultan and Kocoman. She found a safe place in his lap for the photo sessions.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The current holder of the title of the shortest man is Edward Nino Hernandez, a 24-year-old Colombian dancer who measures just 27ins.But Nino's reign is likely to be short because Nepalese teenager Khagendra Thapa Magar is, metaphorically at least, looking over his shoulder.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Now,there are reasons for dogs to rejoice. At least on records,they are respected the same way as human. As long as Guinness makes a seperate book for animals.</span></div>
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dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-1730031597452194522024-03-11T11:02:00.000-07:002024-03-11T11:02:32.608-07:00Years of pain<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Father,not my will, but Thine will be done</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>Acha,</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i> <br />
I had written a long comment-as painful as it was....and then some thing goes wrong with the system and I lose it all....<br />
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I was about to curse the turn out of things and then I remembered - "Why should I and whom should I curse - God? -should He be the one responsible for all of this crap that has befallen our lives??"</i></span></span><br />
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This is small in comparision to the larger things that go wrong on an on-off basis in life ...(I have been taught that by this period in my life....), so if that loss has hit you, no other loss should!!! And I take what has transpired with a smile and start writing again.....<br />
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Sheri- I always used to say was my first baby, though we have our lil Kevini...everything about her was child like - her smile, her innocence, her talks, her reactions to situations..everything!!!<br />
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I sometimes ask God-why her? And I sometimes console myself thinking that maybe there was some purpose to be served-do I need to lead a more meaningful life? Should I be of </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">use , should I be a source of support for the less privileged ones? Sometimes I think that the answer is Yes - if she has left for heaven and I still continue to be as carefree about life as I was - what purpose did her death serve? And so my choices since then were influenced by this mindset, and so you know...!!! No regrets - she is happy for me as she always has been..!!!</span></i><br />
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I miss her in my life beyond what I can say or express..some days are just killing...still I live on...a day will come for everyone...and its easier to accept if one believes in God and HIS unfailing plans...one day..one day..we will surely re-unite...in God's abode..!!! Till then, I guess I have no choice but to play my role in God's plan with unfailing devotion and commitment to the entrusted roles...!!!<br />
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Death is no longer scary, if our Sheri can take it, we should too and more readily....so in a sense we have emerged stronger in tragedy!!! I don't necessarily agree with what has transpired in our lives, and her loss is just outright painful...but there's no choice and when we are are in that state...just remember the saying" Beggars can't be Choosers"...God chose not to give and therefore, let's just hope in all earnest that wherever she is God is taking good care of his daughter who stuck to her faith even on her deathbed...!!!<br />
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Sheri loved her freedom, she was like a bird, and I guess she is free now....free from pain, from the anguish this world gives....I am in a sense happy for her....when I think about the pain that she underwent...!!!God is kind.....!!!<br />
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Some people spend their entire lives doing stuff to earn a place in God's abode, some do more than their share...such people HE calls early....simply put that's it!!!<br />
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Our angel lives forever in our hearts.....she has left a mirror image of herself for us to remember her by - our Kevini-let's be thanful we have him!!!<br />
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God Bless!!! </i></span></span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MQqpHlWLu3Y/TamMnjvW3II/AAAAAAAAAiQ/cjYcPpvigpo/s1600/sheri1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><i><img border="0" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MQqpHlWLu3Y/TamMnjvW3II/AAAAAAAAAiQ/cjYcPpvigpo/s320/sheri1.jpg" width="320" /></i></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">This was the comment my son had written on my post "<a href="http://heartbeatsandruns.blogspot.com/2011_03_01_archive.html"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">A night light in darkness"</span></a>. I had mentioned the pain of everyone in that post,except his.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Five years of painful memories! </span></div>
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dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-78639864999127535682017-09-01T01:16:00.001-07:002017-09-01T01:16:35.062-07:00Be a good boy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Our house was getting painted.We had forgotten to paint the house for long.Life itself had lost colors for some time.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Kevin was busy with his own painting.He would insist on the largest of drawing papers and fill them all with all sorts of </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">colors.Once finished, he will find some glue from the kitchen and fix it on to the center of the wall </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">they had just finished.And every time, he would choose the newly painted clean walls. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I got angry and scolded him.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Why are you spoiling the walls"?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">He said " Appuukka, you pack your bag and go back to Dubai.This is my home "</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">" But you are the one who always say, pack my bag, I want to go to Appukka", I said.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Oh, that was when you behaved like a good boy"!</span><br />
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dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-1872818333201799272014-10-31T20:16:00.000-07:002014-11-02T11:37:12.134-08:00A Good Death<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Let life be as beautiful as summer flowers<br />
And death as beautiful as autumn leaves.<o:p></o:p></div>
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~Rabindranath Tagore<o:p></o:p></div>
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Few days back, I received a mail from the European Society
of Critical care. The mail was to inform us members about the family of a
prominent doctor affected by Ebola virus and now in critical condition. He was
a European doctor with so much of contributions in the field of medicine and had
volunteered to work in Liberia on Ebola virus.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And just the week before that, Dr. Samuel Brisbane died of
Ebola leaving behind his wife and kids. He was a Liberian doctor, took care of
Ebola patients and died from Ebola, the horrible, nightmarish disease. Since
Dr. Brisbane's death, we've learned that other doctors and nurses have also
contracted Ebola and have died or are being treated in the types of rudimentary
facilities we see on the news. As we live in dread of the disease, questions
about how we die and what we're willing to die for, are weighing on us.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When the whole medical
field is being criticized for lack of value and dedication, we do not see the
faces of those doctors who choose to work in dangerous circumstances, far away
from their own homes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Doctors and nurses have a duty of care toward their
patients. We're expected, on the basis of our training and an unwritten
social contract, to fulfill that duty even in very difficult circumstances - in
the face of depleted resources, for example, or undesirable patients. But we
also have a duty to our families, and ourselves and when our work becomes life
threatening, we have to decide what benefit we will be to our patients and what
cost it will exact from us. In such circumstances, we cannot be expected to
uphold the same duty of care.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The ancients had a concept of a “good death” - dying for
one's country, for example, or gloriously on the battlefield. For emergency medicine clinicians like us, the concept of a
good death can seem too abstract, intangible. Rarely are the deaths we see good
or beneficial. We see young people who die in the throes of trauma;
grandparents who die at the end of a long, debilitating illness; people who
kill themselves; and people who die from their excesses, whether of alcohol,
food, or smoking.</div>
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The natural history of birth and death is now rewritten.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Births used to happen at home. Then modern medicine
intervened and what was once a natural event, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>has become institutionalized. In the process,
maternal and infant mortality have dropped, which was a good thing. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Nowadays, women have a variety of choices about how they
give birth. Some routinely go into labour at home, supported by midwives, and
give birth in their own beds. Others start at home but head to a hospital when
contractions are acute, deliver the baby, and leave a few hours later. Still others
plan caesareans, or hospital birth with enough drugs not to feel any pain
during labour and delivery.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Death, too, started at home. But now majority of deaths occur
in hospitals, even though how we want to die is as varied as patients
themselves.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Some of us will fight disease to the end with chemotherapy
drugs coursing through our their veins. Others will opt for terminal palliative
sedation, an induced, coma-like state to ease anxiety and ragged breathing
before death. And a great many of us, especially who are aging in their own
homes, want to die there, or in a hospice.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Unlike pregnant women, though, dying patients don't have a
due date.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Rabindranath Tagore, the Nobel poet laureate of India wrote:
“Death’s stamp gives value to the coin of life, making it possible to buy with
life what is truly precious”. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Dr. Sam Brisbane's death made me think. About life, work,
responsibilities and family. About those doctors who work selflessly in far
away, desolate corners of the world, away from their families, in epidemics and
war zones. Seldom do we remember their faces. We only know those affluent,
sought after physicians who practice in the luxury of their office rooms and
for whom we wait for months to get an appointment.<o:p></o:p></div>
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With apologies to his wife and family, who saw him die
horribly and unjustly, and despite the deep loss we feel, I believe our friend
died a good death, as did all the nurses and doctors who have sacrificed
themselves caring for patients with this awful disease.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pcighT808mA/VFRP2pvU9dI/AAAAAAAABWw/vN5yVtAZ_Aw/s1600/good-death-joshua-bright.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pcighT808mA/VFRP2pvU9dI/AAAAAAAABWw/vN5yVtAZ_Aw/s1600/good-death-joshua-bright.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
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dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-47215011998358638972014-08-22T21:15:00.000-07:002014-08-23T20:26:52.118-07:00A Knock on the Door<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; text-align: left;">“</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; text-align: left;">Live life so completely
that when death comes to you like a thief in the night, there will be nothing
left for him to steal.</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 16pt; text-align: left;">”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">A recent bout with an unexpected illness has brought to mind
one of the fundamentals of frugality: preparedness.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It was all so sudden. I was
at the clinic and had a bout of cough. I had this cough and cold for few days.
I didn’t take it seriously first. But then I felt like sweating and then, a
vague discomfort in chest.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Just the previous day, I had
done my 6 kilometer regular walk followed by an hour of swimming. And I have
been walking and walking for the last fifteen years, and unusually fast. I
never had any problems. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">And I never
thought it would come to me.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I was lucky.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">To have thought about it,
for being a doctor that I could make the diagnosis myself, to be close to the
hospital, to have some wonderful doctors to take care of me and above all, to
have my daughter with me at that time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My daughter would have
passed this place in transit dozens of times in the last few years. But just
this time, when I went to see her at the airport, she decided to let her
husband to go on with the trip and stayed back with me. We spent few days
together and were supposed to take the flight home the same evening.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Do things happen for a reason?
I have no clue why my daughter decided to stay back with me. And why it should
happen in the morning time, when all the doctors were ready and available. When
I was at the hospital, I had wondered if it had happened during my travel or at
somewhere else with no access to a hospital. That is the luck I call the grace
of God.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Looking back, I don’t think
I was frightened. My daughter was with me all the time. And then our friend
Christine who was such a blessing at that time. There was a kind of numbness
about the whole episode. While I was lying on the hospital bed, many thoughts
had passed my mind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Mostly people whom I wished
I could see and bid farewell before I left. Those I wanted to stay in my eyes
before it closed forever. Things I had forgotten to say to some one. Apologies,
which were long pending.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-outline-level: 1;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 16.5pt; margin-bottom: 18.75pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Here's the truth of things: if you ever had
to face death, you have been brought face-to-face with the realization that
tomorrow is promised to no one.
This awareness can help you keep in mind what is important in life, so you
don’t get lost in trivial matters and lose sight of those things that are most
important to you.<br />
<br />
It is ironic but one consequence of such sudden event is that it can make you
appreciate life more than you ever would have if you had not undergone such an
experience.</i></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 16.5pt; margin-bottom: 18.75pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 6.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><i>There is
nothing like suffering and hardship to cleanse and purify us. It takes us back
to the essentials of life. When everything is going well we tend to take home,
job, spouse, children, health for granted. We take God for granted too.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When
everything is going well we may feel we don’t need God so much. We may stop
thanking him. Stop acknowledging that everything we have is God’s gift. We
might get proud over our achievements or what we have accomplished. And then
believe that they all happened because of our capabilities. We may succumb to
the illusion of self-reliance that we no longer need God that much. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">For
some, death doesn’t bother knocking; it just barges in the door unexpected and
unwelcome. For others, something like a cancer diagnosis can become like a
knocking on the door. You get the warning, but the guest is still unwelcome.
Death is the kind of guest that if you see it coming down the driveway, you
lock the door and hide behind the curtains, hoping it will think you are not
home. When the sound of the knock first came though, there were a few thoughts
that came into my mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The
knock made me more aware of others that had been in this same situation.
Knowing that I was still at the beginning of another journey, I thought more of
others who had dealt with what I had faced and how they appeared so composed
and real in the light of dealing with issues that can seem quite surreal. I
have to say, there is a difference between making a choice when you are healthy
to when you make one after you are seriously ill.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My preparation
for the inevitable does not mean I am opening the door and inviting death to
come in and take a seat. I am hoping for a better life and I am looking forward
to everything I was looking forward to before, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">only now it is with more intensity</i>. When I hear the knocking again,
I am not expecting to hide behind the curtains. But I can’t say that I won't be
turning up the music either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In the book of Revelation Jesus says “I stand
at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come
in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me” . Sometimes, His
knocking is a light tapping in our spirit. But other times, when we are
inattentive, He may use a pounding fist of adversity to turn our focus to Him.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QjLU9blXV-Q/U_lbaS94nTI/AAAAAAAABRI/GUCsJpQAUMs/s1600/secret_door_21607.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QjLU9blXV-Q/U_lbaS94nTI/AAAAAAAABRI/GUCsJpQAUMs/s1600/secret_door_21607.jpg" height="360" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-6709650497439777432013-08-10T21:42:00.000-07:002013-08-11T03:47:29.142-07:00The Empty Fish Tank<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kVhAk3lc2TI/UgcVyd_t2aI/AAAAAAAAA5c/gsOdh4AN5fI/s1600/Fishtank-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kVhAk3lc2TI/UgcVyd_t2aI/AAAAAAAAA5c/gsOdh4AN5fI/s320/Fishtank-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="color: blue;">The Empty Fish tank</span></b></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Hard to believe that it is a year since I left the
blog. Clinic was busy, and top of it, I had joined a course on diabetes which
took most of whatever little time I was left with. I completed it last week.
Many of my friends had asked me, why education at this age?</div>
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It was fun, like going to school from the beginning. And
then there are interesting people I met there, on whom I can write a dozen
posts!</div>
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The first thing I did when I returned to the blog was
looking at my favorite bloggers. <a href="http://pareltank.blogspot.ae/">Pareltank</a> was one of the first blog I had
added to my list. Then it suddenly struck me. It is almost a year since she
escaped the tank. She is no more there. The tank is empty.</div>
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I thought she had named the tank after the parel fish which
are small agile energetic and beautiful looking fish with silvery scales which
are abundant in the local rivers. Her tank was as lively, filled to the brim
with ideas as shiny as the parel fish.</div>
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Kochuthresiamma’s blog was a class apart. Her exemplary ease
and skill of the language, her insight in to human behavior as she has seen it
the way she grew up and then later when she worked as an English language
teacher, was obvious from the first post you read. My favorite was the one she
had written about her childhood; memories came alive in words as colors
on a canvas. She remembered her gramophone and Starry Starry nights and Don McLean.</div>
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I would have listened to that song a hundred times since
then. There is something captivating about that song.</div>
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Many a time I had argued and contradicted what she had
written. And I was silly enough to offend her in one of the posts where she had
written about an actress student of hers. But I realized my mistake and had
apologized to her. Deeper than that, I have been trying to absolve the guilt
attached to that , and it becomes all the more painful, now that she is not
alive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember what her son had written about her in his note.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What I loved most was that to Amma, her universe was not
limited to her children and her husband: it ensconced her siblings and their
families, her husband’s closest and farthest family, all her friends and all
the less fortunate people who managed to cross her path, with the same circle
of love as it did her near and dear ones”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, that was what she was from what little I had come to
know of her. One thing was for sure. She battled the disease for five years. Although
her frail body had begun to give up to the disease, her fighting spirit led her
on her regular course of life. Her last blog post was just few weeks before she
left us. That was tremendous courage. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought I knew what it means to face the death of a loved
one. By this age, I had already buried both my parents...my mother, being the
more dismaying loss. It seemed outrageous that the world should go on without
her in it. Still it goes on. My wife’s father, my eldest brother, my aunt who
had brought me up, my closest friend, and my daughter in law at a tender age...The
list goes on, of those whom I bid farewell.<br />
<br />
Our dead are not dead to us until we have forgotten them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I feel immune to the kind of grief that empties the mind of
everything except longing. I have wept for all those whom I loved, and whom I still
miss.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mourning has no timetable. Grief is not the same for everyone.
And it does not always go away.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rest in peace, my blogger friend!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0zLbVuGjT5I/UgcV8vssF-I/AAAAAAAAA5k/ieoAXUdQtgM/s1600/4_dalai_lama_quotes_on_death.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="218" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0zLbVuGjT5I/UgcV8vssF-I/AAAAAAAAA5k/ieoAXUdQtgM/s320/4_dalai_lama_quotes_on_death.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</div>
dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-35342145236186533422012-08-25T21:27:00.000-07:002012-08-26T05:52:12.054-07:00A secret garden<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Rp2rRmS2xDk/UB9HDTv88uI/AAAAAAAAAzU/egjS2ZXmGQM/s1600/gardenhanging.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Rp2rRmS2xDk/UB9HDTv88uI/AAAAAAAAAzU/egjS2ZXmGQM/s400/gardenhanging.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I could
walk through my garden forever.” <br />
Alfred Tennyson</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was watching a Malayalam move the other day” Arike” (“So
Close”) by Shyam Prasad..It is the story of what appears to be an intense
romantic relationship. The story of two young lovers who are so deeply in love
and cannot think of a life without each other.And they decide to live
together and have submitted the application for their marriage and
waiting for those few long days to pass.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The story is passionate and touches you and evokes all your
romantic fantasies and memories.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While reading a love letter she just received, she tells her
friend ‘I never received such an intense love letter from anyone before.I know it is
because he hasn't seen me for few days"</div>
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<br /></div>
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“So you mean to say you had love affairs before?” asks her
friend.</div>
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<br /></div>
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"Ah, yes, I often fall in love,but this one is different. I started while I was in eighth standard in
school. There was this good looking boy who was in love with me and I said I
will commit suicide if I don’t marry him. He was transferred to another school
when his father changed his job. Then again I fell in love while I was doing
Pre degree”.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Her friend is shocked to hear this. All the time
she was thinking that this was the only true love she had seen.</div>
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Towards the end of the story, the girl easily walks out on
the boy, leaving him confused and stranded.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Had she actually loved this boy?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is falling in love a sickness?</div>
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Do people who fall in love do it repeatedly?</div>
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Is love an addiction? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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I am sure there are people out there who would argue that if
you fall out of love, that was not true love, only infatuation. But then, what
is true love? Is there a love without a physical component to it? Isn’t love
like an addiction?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For many years, I carried a burden. There was a lingering ache that formed the reason for a million regrets... And took
time to heal and recover.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Looking back, I don’t regret the time I messed up, but I
know now I could have been hurt less and created even more possibilities for
myself, if I had known what relationships meant.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Time changes relationships. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pictures never change, but the people in them do. Your best
friend can become your worst enemy, or your worst enemy can turn into your best
friend. ‘Forever’ turns into a few short months. You can let go of something or
someone, you once said you couldn’t live without. And you are the living proof.
The person, who once wanted to spend every second with you, go on living, not
even bothering where you are or what has happened to you. People make promises
despite knowing how common it is for those promises to be broken. People
can erase you from their lives just because it’s easier for them to go on with
their own lives.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You might think you made the biggest mistake of your life,
and if only you didn’t do it you wouldn’t be in pain right now. Don’t take that
road…..there’s nothing good down there. I tried it and it was a bumpy ride and
never took me anywhere. Make peace with your past so it won’t mess up your
present.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Never ignore the person <i>who loves you</i>, cares for you, and
misses you. Because one day, you might
wake up from your sleep and realize that you lost the moon while counting the
stars. If someone walks out of your life, let them. There’s no use in wasting
your time on people that leave you. What you make of yourself and your
future has nothing more to do with them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am walking away from everything I had,<br />
I need a room with new colors,<br />
there was a time,<br />
when I didn’t mind living the life of others.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Are you loving the pain, loving the pain,<br />
and with everyday everyday,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I try to move on ,<br />
whatever it was, whatever it was,<br />
there’s nothing now you changed new age.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So much fire that it burned my wings,<br />
her heat was amazing,<br />
now I’m dreaming of the simple things.<br />
Old ways erased.<br />
If love was a word I don’t understand,<br />
simplest sound with four letters.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
New age<br />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
“Can miles truly separate you .....? If you
want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Richard Bach</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Dw5Zq_DhFbo/UB9IUITN1TI/AAAAAAAAAzc/Or8IfqS5kg4/s1600/The_Secret_Garden.Mista+Bobby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Dw5Zq_DhFbo/UB9IUITN1TI/AAAAAAAAAzc/Or8IfqS5kg4/s400/The_Secret_Garden.Mista+Bobby.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">courtsey: Mista Bobby </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-60766070232095822102012-08-19T01:27:00.000-07:002012-08-19T07:34:46.800-07:00On Friendship day<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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He looked very shabby and tired. He hadn’t taken a bath in
few days and looked depressed.<br />
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“It is my head, doctor” he said</div>
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There was a friend of his who had brought him to the clinic,
who did not look<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>any better than the patient himself.</div>
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“Tell me more’ I said</div>
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For more than two weeks, he had this terrible head ache.
Continuous headache which disturbed his sleep, and he couldn’t work. He was
working as a barber in a saloon and so was his friend. He had already gone to
some clinics who had given him some analgesics, but the pain was getting worse.
I got some more of relevant history from him and did a quick examination. The
last test, an examination of the inside of his eyes through an ophthalmoscope,
told me that he had some serious problem. He had, what we doctors call
‘papilledema’, that is in simple terms ,a swelling of the optic nerve head,
which in turn tells us that he has a problem in the brain.</div>
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“It is a bad situation, doctor “his friend said.</div>
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Vasu was working in a saloon as barber. He was about thirty
years old, was married and had two children aged eight and six years. Both his
children had some congenital ailments. It was some kind of crippling illness,
and he had spent his life’s earnings for the treatment of his children. And
both the kids died one after the other in the recent past. His income was meager
and he could never bring his family to this place. After few years of hard work
day and night, he had managed to start a small saloon himself. His friends
helped him to raise some money to bring his wife to live with him, and he was
just about to start a new beginning.</div>
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“And now, this”. His friend said. Vasu was all the time
looking at my face and was wondering what I was going to say. His experience in
life probably would have told him that the news was not going to be good.</div>
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“There is nothing to worry’ I told him. “But we need to do
some more tests”</div>
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A CT scan of the brain was the next thing to be done. That
would cost him about a thousand dirham and at the rate of his earning, more
than a month’s income. I told him I would arrange to get it done through the governmental
hospital, where I still had some good friends. </div>
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“Will it be all right after the scan, doctor?” he probably
thought that the scan was going to cure his illness.</div>
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I explained the situation to his friend that I expected some
kind of problem in his brain, and it wouldn’t be an easy one.</div>
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I was surprised when he replied “whatever it comes to, we will
manage, just don’t let him know about it”</div>
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After they left, I looked more depressed, and my nurse
guessed it right.<br />
"Doctor, there are more patients waiting”, she said.<br />
<br />
I remembered the Biblical saying .<br />
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Two things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I
die; Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
and say, “Who is the Lord?” Or I may become poor and steal and so dishonor the
name of my God.<br />
Proverbs 30:7-9 NIV</div>
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Vasu was probably the third or fourth patient I had seen
recently in such a situation. Life already in shambles. Neck deep in problems
that cannot be solved and then getting a serious illness, and no money to <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>treat.</div>
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I can’t think of a worse situation than when you are sick
and have no money to get treatment.</div>
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In poverty, sickness
and in other misfortunes, friends are the only refuge. If you have money, life
is easier in many ways. But for the poor, there is no one else to turn to. The
rich and the poor both would need friendship. For the poor, it is consolation
in despair. For the rich, companionship in their abundance and loneliness.</div>
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Friendship is clearly more than a social connection. It is one of the primary relationships in life, a tie at times
exceeding that which bonds blood relatives.Most people seem, owing to ambition, wish
to be loved rather <a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1069457624670089531" name="345"></a>than to love. Never be miserly in matters of
love and friendship. Give, and take back in abundance.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world
walks out."—Walter Winchell</i><br />
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dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-10891708241269766492012-08-09T21:25:00.000-07:002012-08-10T06:02:12.012-07:00Sex Frog<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We have a forum of doctors from my batch.We exchange mails ,news and interesting stuff.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This was sent to me by Dr.J from the UK. All serious discussions were going on for quite some time,and I thought it is time for a change!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">A beautiful, well endowed, young lady goes to her </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">looks about the store, she notices a box full of </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">frogs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only $20 each!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Money Back Guarantee! (Comes with complete </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">instructions)."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">watching her and whispers softly to the man behind </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">the counter, "I'll take one." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The man packages </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">the frog and says, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Just follow the instructions </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">carefully." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">way home. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">As soon as she closes the door to her </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">apartment, she takes out the instructions and</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">reads them carefully. She does exactly what is </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">specified:</span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">1. Take a shower.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">2. Splash on some nice perfume.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">you. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Allow the frog to follow its training. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and,</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">to her surprise, nothing happens! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The girl is </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">totally frustrated and quite upset at this point.</span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">of the paper it says,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> "If you have any problems or </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">questions, please call the pet store."</span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So, the lady calls the pet store. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The man says, "I </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">had some complaints earlier today. I'll be right </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">over."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Within minutes, the man is ringing her </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">doorbell. The lady welcomes him in and says,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"See,</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I've done everything according to the instructions</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">and the damn thing just sits there." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">stares directly into its eyes and sternly says:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">do this one more time!" </span><br />
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<br /></div>dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-12219630002390669022012-08-06T08:23:00.000-07:002012-08-13T04:22:10.012-07:00bringing her back<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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My mother used to spend her entire time at the kitchen. Ours
was a large family ,my parents, my father’s sister and her daughter, my
grandmother who was about a hundred years old ,and then all of us children,
seven of us, all boys and me the youngest. My mother’s day would start at six
in the morning, when she would start brewing black coffee in an earthen pot.
The firewood would take ages to light and it was a task I was good at, blowing
through a pipe to light the firewood. Then she would milk the cow and
continue cooking the breakfast. At any time, at least three of us boys would be
attending school or college and we would eat whatever came to us and would
still be hungry and ask for more. Often we had to be satisfied with the
previous nights cooked rice which my mother would keep in a large earthen pot.
She would add water to it in the morning and some cooked yoghurt, and make it
what we used to call ‘Pazahnkanji’. A green chili and
onion chutney would be all we had as accompaniment. After we leave for school,
she would continue her cooking for the lunch time when we also had some extra
members, our relative girls who were studying at the convent school nearby.<br />
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As the youngest in my family, I used to spend most of my time
with my mother. I would just stay with her in the kitchen, taking nibbles from
whatever was cooking. I would get the assistance of my brother to lift me and place
me on the platform, so that I can take part in all the cooking activities.
Because there was no girl child, all of us would help our mother with her
cooking.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mama's children 1980</td></tr>
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My mother’s recipes were simple. She had few rusty tins on
a small shelf in which she would keep the chilies and spices. She would grind
the curry paste on a granite slab herself. But she would cook the tastiest food
I ever had. Even though we didn’t appreciate it at that time, as I grew up and
left home, I realized how heavenly the food was at home, which my mother used
to cook.</div>
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Recently my eldest brother and his family came to visit me.
It is Ramadan time here and you cannot buy food from outside during day time. I
had cooked some Masala for making Masala Dosa and after the breakfast my sister
in law asked me ‘From where did you buy the food? Like our Ammachi used to make !”</div>
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She wouldn’t believe that I had cooked it.<br />
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Whenever I find time,
I cook for myself. Having been alone for some time, I am used to this. And
these days I enjoy doing it. My recipes are as simple as my mother’s.</div>
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When I cook, I feel as if I am bringing my mother back.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">courtesy: Abhishek Scaria</td></tr>
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dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-88950501774603201422012-07-31T22:05:00.000-07:002012-08-02T04:11:14.246-07:00Edge of Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo:Kira Perov</td></tr>
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There is a Persian restaurant on the ground floor of the
building where I live, which has been running ever since I came to this place. The
father was running the business, had a good looking wife and two children. The
young boy was real handsome and never wasted any opportunity to put the gift to use.
He had his BMW coupe always parked at the front of the restaurant. The
prettiest looking girls in the area could be seen in that car. I had witnessed many pretty girls hanging on
to his shoulders and smooching him in the lift and had often wondered what I
was doing at that age, burning the night candles and roaming around the medical
wards carrying the feces and urine of patients.</div>
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The father died five years back due to a heart attack. The
son had to take over the business and had to spend part of his precious time to
take care of the restaurant, which otherwise would have been lavished on the
lovely girls. I would say, he was a nice boy, was always cheerful and polite
when ever I had the reason to interact with him. After I changed the job, I
had seen less of him, and recently I saw his car parked behind the building
with a” for sale” board. I asked the watchman why he was selling the car and he
was surprised.</div>
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“Doctor, didn’t you really know that the boy died last
month?”</div>
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That was too unexpected.</div>
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“Tell me more, “I said.</div>
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It appeared that the boy had a cancer in the abdomen which
was already late when diagnosed, underwent a resection of his stomach and
intestine, had a feeding tube and a catheter for the rest of his remaining few
months. Malik , our watchman told me that the boy would still smile at him and
explain all the details of his illness. He was planning to go to Europe for another
surgery when he died.</div>
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I honestly never gave dying too much thought. Death was almost
a regular event I had witnessed in the ICU. Some patients would be brought in
and would be dead even before they had the time to think about it. I honestly
do not know what happens to them after they are intubated and placed on a
support system. Others would know they don’t have much time. Men and women
would uniformly cry out the same slogan..” moath..moath” ( death..death.) as if they were seeing it
approaching them. And on most occasions, they were right. They had seen
something….whatever had taken their lives.</div>
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Each phase of dying is different than the next, but all with
the same outcome; all from different perspectives. </div>
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All emotions can be broken down to Fear or Love.</div>
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It certainly gives me much to think about and contemplate. What would I want to say
to my family and friends; what would I need them to know before I left?
Would I be afraid? Would my belief be strong enough to see me through the
final moments of my last breaths without fear? All of which are really
great questions. And, if you think about it …so many people get taken away from
this earth without the luxury of time and contemplation of these ever so
important things.</div>
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I wish all people had the opportunity to pack up their bags,
as if they were leaving for the airport. Do the final checking...all documents...all
papers...money...handover the house to those who are not on the trip ..Giving
tips to the servants...All done in time.</div>
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The saying ‘living each day like it’s your last’ has a lot
more meaning to me these days. The small space which used to occupy my
mind with loss and regrets has no place there anymore. Should you ever
need a reminder of how great a life you have, do yourself a favor and visit a Palliative health facility filled with those with no purpose left to them,
other than counting days or go down to the Regional Cancer Centre and wander
the corridors of the Pediatric ward, looking at the faces of parents so distraught
and exhausted and the kids so sick and desperate for a day without the reality
they face. </div>
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Most of us spend the best years of life living for others.
We all have reasons. Getting married...and then living for her interests than
yours. Bringing up children and working hard to seeing them through school and
college...even to see them getting married and spend the entire life’s balance
for that sake. Make their lives easier.</div>
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Some people are just meant to live for others. There's
nothing wrong with it. After 50 years of doing so, you can't just all of a
sudden think solely about you.<br />
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I just remembered a very powerful sentence in a wonderful book, "The Gift
of an Ordinary Day," by Katrina Kenison. She said, “As soon as I
stop wishing for things to be different, I am met by the beauty of what is.”</div>
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So isn’t it true that we spend much time wishing for
things to be different? </div>
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How hard it is to stop wishing for things to be different?
What if we were able to say, “This is what I have to deal with right now? This
is what is happening. Let me stay right here and pay attention. It’s OK if I
feel angry, embarrassed, impatient, bewildered, disappointed, and afraid."
Imagine just staying in that feeling and taking responsibility for it.</div>
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We want to retaliate, blame, find an answer, sweep the
moment away and forget. “The beauty of what is” might not actually be
beautiful, but when I can stay with what is and accept it, something beautiful
happens.</div>
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Truly, the art of dying teaches us the art of living.
And if we were to spend some time in the reality that we will all one day leave this planet; either
slowly with time to prepare or quickly without that luxury, the truth is we
would be much better people. We would live as we were meant to …caring
about the important things like love, compassion and happiness. We would
prepare, we would communicate and we would die with a lot less regret and those
left behind us, would be better equipped to let us go.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-syFJhfWR9KI/UBiztJl4v8I/AAAAAAAAAwg/30vkZtQrsSA/s1600/Jim+Emerson+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-syFJhfWR9KI/UBiztJl4v8I/AAAAAAAAAwg/30vkZtQrsSA/s400/Jim+Emerson+blog.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jim Emerson blog</td></tr>
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</div>dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-90715565939621470382012-03-06T13:29:00.002-08:002012-03-08T00:37:44.728-08:00Looking Glass<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BGvnOo5UCwk/T1aBA0mY5ZI/AAAAAAAAAvw/s3Fo4vRY5HE/s1600/life1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="241" width="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BGvnOo5UCwk/T1aBA0mY5ZI/AAAAAAAAAvw/s3Fo4vRY5HE/s320/life1.jpg" /></a></div><br />
On Bronnie Ware’s blog, Inspiration and Chai, the post titled “Regrets of the Dying “ would be one of the most popular. This is a reflective piece inspired by her time working in palliative care, where she nursed thousands of patients who were in the last few weeks of their lives. It was interesting and perhaps touching how the dying had looked at their own lives and revealed their regrets. I don’t know, given another chance, if life would have been any better for them.<br />
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From time to time, when someone asks me if I have had any regrets, it has prompted me to think long and hard. My answer is clearly given at the top of my blog. Life had always been a list of unfulfilled dreams. And it was hard to choose from among them , that’s all. But then, it was also good to have lived than not living and trying at all. After reading Bronnie’s list below, I found how similar we human beings are, under the camouflage of big and small ,rich and poor, and that I really have few things to work on if I want my answer to change before my time is up.<br />
Here we have an opportunity to look at our own lives from a different point of view. This reminds us that only we can be responsible for our own happiness or unhappiness in the long run. Life is as simple as what we make of it. And also as complicated when we sit down at the end of the road and look back and realize how little we have done of what we had always wanted.<br />
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I don’t know how many of you would have come across this inspirational article. The link was sent to me by a friend of mine. Globally, this article has been translated into several languages and seems to have broken cultural barriers with incredible ease. It is the simplicity and honesty of the article that has made it resonate with people. Looking back, it makes me realize just how alike we all are and how, sadly, we can all be influenced and driven by the wrong priorities and by fear.<br />
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" When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:<br />
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1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.<br />
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This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.<br />
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It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.<br />
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2. I wish I didn't work so hard.<br />
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This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.<br />
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By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.<br />
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3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.<br />
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Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.<br />
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We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.<br />
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<br />
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.<br />
<br />
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.<br />
<br />
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.<br />
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<br />
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.<br />
<br />
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.<br />
<br />
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying " <br />
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<br />
If we sit back and look at life, most of us would regret the things we did than the things we didn’t do. Studies have proven that regrets of inaction persist much longer than regrets of action. There is little you can do for the missed opportunities of the past. Use the slightly unsettling feeling of regret to motivate yourself to do something about it. Tackle something important on your "to do before I die" list and if you don't have such a list then make one. No one lives a perfect life and no one accomplishes everything that they set out to do. Some people however are in constant motion so that instead of reflecting on missed opportunities of the past they are working towards new accomplishments in the present. Don't be afraid to take a chance. As you read above, people generally feel worse for not trying than for trying and failing.<br />
<br />
Life is too short. Trust me it is. Sometimes, there is no tomorrow, or a “next time”. So don’t do something that would make you regret life.<br />
<br />
"So...If you could live your life all over again, what's the one thing you would do differently?"<br />
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Life is a choice. It is <i>your</i> life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zDDwzrHHOC4/T1aBJRbnuNI/AAAAAAAAAv8/ZMgSwsHdXQ0/s1600/Bronnie-deckle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="230" width="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zDDwzrHHOC4/T1aBJRbnuNI/AAAAAAAAAv8/ZMgSwsHdXQ0/s320/Bronnie-deckle.jpg" /></a></div>dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-89890606762414065892012-02-11T20:12:00.000-08:002012-02-11T20:18:57.583-08:00Why such brief candles?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wH0JVtrDQwk/Tzc7FGfZ6NI/AAAAAAAAAvg/AZFyao63buU/s1600/Tree-of-Life52.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="164" width="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wH0JVtrDQwk/Tzc7FGfZ6NI/AAAAAAAAAvg/AZFyao63buU/s320/Tree-of-Life52.png" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I was watching the movie “ The Tree of Life” the other day. Honestly, I couldn’t connect all the pieces together the first time I saw the movie. It can mean completely different things for completely different kinds of people. The Tree of Life is about everything. About life, nostalgia, love, loss, hatred, anger, nature, grace, forgiveness, redemption, and everything else that could be there in life. The scenes are incredibly beautiful, as perfect as they could be and looks out of this world. The Tree of Life is a series of fragmented memories of a young man named Jack (Sean Penn) who reminisces his childhood memories as a young boy , and the polar relationships between his graceful, loving mother (Jessica Chastain), and his strict, disciplinary, and sometimes angry father (Brad Pitt). It is a simple family entwined in love,the kind we see in everyday life.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FQr2oWb0FFA/Tzc5dyzwB9I/AAAAAAAAAvI/1tCUH1rj6Ag/s1600/the_tree_of_life_movie_poster_01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="216" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FQr2oWb0FFA/Tzc5dyzwB9I/AAAAAAAAAvI/1tCUH1rj6Ag/s320/the_tree_of_life_movie_poster_01.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
And,somewhere in the middle of the movie, there was this scene when the Brian family attends the church on a Sunday morning and listens to a sermon.It really struck me as I listened to it again and again. It haunted me.<br />
<br />
The Book of Job explores the myth that we inhabit a world in which people who live virtuously inevitably receive blessing, while those who do evil, always suffer a painful fate. The story of the tragedies that fell upon virtuous Job, demonstrates that there is nothing in life that can protect us from the possibility of pain.The story of Job is quoted often when one gets angry at God and when misfortunes befall.<br />
<br />
<br />
“Job imagined he might build his nest on high – that the integrity of his behavior would protect him against misfortune. And his friends thought, mistakenly, that the Lord could only have punished him because secretly he’d done something wrong. <br />
<br />
But, no, misfortune befalls the good as well. We can’t protect ourselves against it. We can’t protect our children. We can’t say to ourselves, even if I’m not happy, I’m going to make sure they are.<br />
<br />
We vanish as a cloud. We wither as the autumn grass, and like a tree are rooted up. <br />
Is there some fraud in the scheme of the universe? Is there nothing which is deathless? Nothing which does not pass away?<br />
<br />
We cannot stay where we are. We must journey forth.<br />
<br />
We must find that which is greater than fortune or fate. Nothing can bring us peace but that.<br />
<br />
Is the body of the wise man, or the just, exempt from any pain? From any disquietude, from the deformity that might blight its beauty, from the weakness that might destroy its health?<br />
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Do you trust in God?<br />
<br />
Job, too, was close to the Lord. Are your friends and children your security? There is no hiding place in all the world where trouble may not find you. No on knows when sorrow might visit his house, any more than Job did. <br />
The very moment everything was taken away from Job, he knew it was the Lord who’d taken it away. He turned from the passing shows of time. He sought that which is eternal.<br />
<br />
Does he alone see God’s hand who sees that He gives, or does not also the one see God’s hand who sees that He takes away? Does he alone see God who sees God turn His face towards him? Does not also he see God who sees God turn his back?" <br />
<br />
<br />
The sermon is a profound piece of theology, a beautiful piece of poetry, and a deep well of spiritual wisdom and insight.<br />
<br />
“Is there nothing which is deathless? Nothing which does not pass away?” <br />
<br />
“The Tree of Life” also offers an answer in the voice of Mrs. O’Brien when she declares, “Unless you love, your life will flash by… Do good, wonder, hope.”<br />
<br />
There are only two routes through life: “the way of nature and the way of grace.” Grace is abundant in the story’s mother figure, the pious and loving Mrs. O’Brian and a sufferer of the most awful of all tragedies – the death of a child, her middle son in his late teens. How he died we never learn, but the rest of the film can be seen as a reaction to his cruelly shortened life and to the question it inevitably poses.....Why? Why such a brief candle?<br />
<br />
At the boy's funeral, a pastor tells Mrs. O'Brien "He's in God's hands now" and she replies with something like... "<i>He should be in my hands</i>." I could not think of a better answer than hers. Perhaps that answer is the one which shook me up.Whenever I hear of the death of a young child, I am reminded of my own personal loss. Why? Why such a brief candle?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PXvPUg8meYI/Tzc5oRQQgqI/AAAAAAAAAvU/6R1Uv483nbk/s1600/contemplation_qrtlySP09.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="224" width="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PXvPUg8meYI/Tzc5oRQQgqI/AAAAAAAAAvU/6R1Uv483nbk/s320/contemplation_qrtlySP09.jpg" /></a></div>dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-52382840838009447502012-01-02T06:57:00.000-08:002012-01-02T06:57:32.412-08:00A lingering fragrance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lLhpRr_yVuk/TwG_Y9S0lgI/AAAAAAAAAuY/ZV2LY7LEERc/s1600/Molum%2BMonum.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lLhpRr_yVuk/TwG_Y9S0lgI/AAAAAAAAAuY/ZV2LY7LEERc/s320/Molum%2BMonum.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Two years of sadness and painful memories. Along with that , the lingering fragrance of the sweetness she was. A short time where she filled our lives with a gentleness and warmth that touched all lives around her. Who are we to decipher the intricacies and madness of nature? If everything went on according to rules, probably life would have lost all its charm. Still, the pain it inflicts on those left behind is fathomless.<br />
<br />
Everything good in this world reminds me of her. She was all the goodness wrapped in a gift wrap, and got stolen.<br />
<br />
It is two years since Sheri has left us. It feels like yesterday, because her presence is so strong and the memories so gripping. It is painful to write, so I just put together some thoughts.<br />
<br />
Death is the ultimate reality after birth, an experience that touches all members of the human family. Death transcends all cultures and beliefs; there is both commonality and individuality in the grief experience. When a loved one dies, each person reacts differently. A child's death, however, is such a wrenching event that all affected by it express sadness and dismay and are painfully shaken for the rest of their lives...<br />
<br />
A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. But...there is no word for a parent who loses a child, that's how awful the loss is! (Neugeboren 1976, <br />
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Children are not supposed to die...Parents expect to see their children grow and mature and outlive them. Ultimately, parents expect to die with the care and comfort of their children...This would be the natural course of life events, if the life cycle continued as it should. The loss of a child is the loss of innocence, the death of the most vulnerable and dependent. The death of a child signifies the loss of the future, of hopes and dreams, of new strength, and of perfection. ( Arnold and Gemma 1994)<br />
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Bereaved parents continue to be parents of the child who died. They will always feel the empty place in their hearts caused by the child's death; they were, and always will be, the loving father and mother of that child. Yet, these parents have to accept that they will never be able to live their lives with or share their love openly with the child. So they must find ways to hold on to the memories. Many bereaved parents come to learn that "memories are the precious gifts of the heart... [that they need] these memories and whispers, to help create a sense of inner peace, a closeness" (Wisconsin Perspectives Newsletter, Spring 1989).<br />
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Nothing can change the fact that this child is considered a part of the family forever, and the void in the family constellation created by the child's death also remains forever.<br />
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Parental grief is boundless. It touches every aspect of the parent's being...The range of expression of parental grief is wide. Despite the volumes of work on grief, the experience of grief seems to defy description... Definitions touch the fringes of grief but do not embrace its totality or reach its core...Grief is a complicated, evolving human process. Grief is a binding experience; its universality binds sufferers together. (Arnold and Gemma 1991)<br />
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The sorrow for the dead is the only sorrow from which we refuse to be divorced. Every other wound we seek to heal, every other affliction to forget; but this wound we consider it a duty to keep open; this affliction we cherish and brood over in solitude. ( Washington Irving, The Sketch Book ,)<br />
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<br />
<br />
• Parental grief is overwhelming; there is nothing that can prepare a parent for its enormity or devastation; parental grief never ends but only changes in intensity and manner of expression; parental grief affects the head, the heart, and the spirit.<br />
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• For parents, the death of a child means coming to terms with untold emptiness and deep emotional hurt. Immediately after the death, some parents may even find it impossible to express grief at all as many experience a period of shock and numbness.<br />
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<br />
But in time... nature takes care of it; the waves of pain lose intensity a little and come less frequently. Then friends and relatives say the parents are getting over it, and that time heals all wounds. But I seriously doubt any length of time will heal the wounds. This is a constant pain you don’t want to get away with. That pain reminds me of the best part of my life I shared with a sweet ,innocent child.<br />
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I love to nurture this wound, lest I lose the sweetest of my memories.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-aIQffDPHGoc/TwHEzYY26-I/AAAAAAAAAuk/9xjUMm-dAwc/s1600/473793-bigthumbnail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-aIQffDPHGoc/TwHEzYY26-I/AAAAAAAAAuk/9xjUMm-dAwc/s320/473793-bigthumbnail.jpg" /></a></div>dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-35354944235776014512011-11-27T08:57:00.000-08:002011-11-27T08:57:12.627-08:00A tomorrow that never was<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3Zct_bPqzP4/TtJrJzS7i0I/AAAAAAAAAt8/KtAgfSrgTWw/s1600/Tomorrow%2BNever%2BComes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3Zct_bPqzP4/TtJrJzS7i0I/AAAAAAAAAt8/KtAgfSrgTWw/s320/Tomorrow%2BNever%2BComes.jpg" /></a></div><br />
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”(Oscar Wilde)<br />
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Last week, two farmers committed suicide in my place. They had struggled all their lives to make a living, but instead, accumulated only debts and decided to end their lives . Their families will continue the same struggle for the rest of their lives too. I have often wondered at the way life goes. Some people live comfortable lives not by virtue of their efforts, but by a matter of sheer luck. Others toil their whole lives making ends meet. But those ends never meet. If you are poor, life is difficult. No one will even lend you money. For those who have, there is no need to ask. It is all the more difficult if you are poor and sick. Then there are others who have money, but forget to live.<br />
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I was not going to write about poverty and money matters. It was Chackochan’s death that prompted me to write this.<br />
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I had known him from the time I joined the hospital. He was well known at the place as a businessman by that time. His was a rag to riches story. He had come to Khorfakkan as an ordinary laborer and built up a business all on his own, which grew in to a big money making business. He had been living in a cheap dilapidated villa and still sent his wife for a very low income job. He was said to have a palatial bungalow in his home town and many buildings at prime locations which he had leased off. But he lived frugally his all life in that dilapidated rented house; his wife still went to her work place by taxi.<br />
<br />
Once when this lady came to me as a patient, I asked her.<br />
<br />
“Why do you have to go for work now at this age, you are sick”<br />
“There are lots of expenses, doctor, children are studying, and no money” This lady didn’t have money to buy the medicines I had prescribed and I had to send her away with some sample medicines.<br />
Their house in their home town had a swimming pool and was fully air conditioned. But neither of them ever lived in that house. They never enjoyed the swimming pool because they didn’t know how to swim .All the while, they toiled and lived miserly in that slum like place.<br />
<br />
And finally, last week, he made an unceremonious departure from this world.<br />
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This is not an isolated story. Half of the expatriates, who live in this part of the world, live their lives this way. They all tighten their belts to make money for the future and finally get old and sick and die, never enjoying the fruits of their labor. Their children live lavishly and lead care free lives and finish off the bounty in no time.<br />
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I know many who are rich by the standards here. They buy the cheapest of clothes, the cheapest of whiskies, the cheapest of perfumes and the cheapest of everything they can see. I seriously doubt if they do it as a matter of principle.<br />
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We all have this tendency to keep the best for the future. Like keeping the best dress for an occasion, the good food for tomorrow, to finish the stale food in the fridge, but end up eating the back log of stale food every day.<br />
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The other day a friend of mine asked me to go to the beach with him. Early in the morning, the weather was cold, the air was fresh and fragrant, the sea was calm and a gentle breeze blew all the time that brought with it the spirit of energy. The sun was simmering at the red horizon far away. We enjoyed a walk along the shore and then bathed in the sea and enjoyed swimming. It was a wonderful day. I was thinking….I have been living in the same place for ten years, I just had to cross the road to reach this sea, but never bothered to go to the sea and enjoy this wonderful pleasures of nature, that came free!<br />
<br />
The best things in life are probably free for all of us. People spend thousands of dollars to travel to exotic locations and spend some time at the sea side, and here I am, living by the sea side and never bothering to enjoy that luxury, which was always free for me.<br />
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Now a day people kill themselves to eke out a living or improve their living conditions, but they forget to live. In fact, many people don’t live, but they exist and survive each day, for they are too busy, too tired, too stressed and too worried to really enjoy the pleasures of life. There is no going back in time. Thus, hours become days and days become months and years and all those years become a wasted precious life, and what for? To make a better living for tomorrow! A tomorrow that never was.<br />
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It is always said that to be successful in life, you have to work hard and never stop, because if you stop, another person will come and take your place. Besides, as the present world demands a lot of effort to survive and keep a decent living, pleasures are the first thing to be put off when wanting to achieve any goal. However, if you postpone your enjoyment until the time money and proper conditions arrive, that time may never come or come too late and you are unable to take care of yourself, leave alone enjoyment.<br />
<br />
The strains of modern life force people to live in such a hurry that they don’t have time to enjoy the beautiful world we live in. People forget to take delight of the bonny things nature provides us. It costs no money and takes almost no time.<br />
<br />
"This world, after all our science and sciences, is still a miracle; wonderful, magical and more, to whosoever will think of it." - Thomas Carlyle. <br />
<br />
We always want more than what we actually need. People accumulate things for others to enjoy them, for they value their lives by the things they possess, which is a quite sad way of appreciating life.<br />
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If at the end of the day we review the day’s tasks and ask ourselves how much we enjoyed the day, we’d probably conclude that we missed another chance of feeling alive. Responsibilities are absolutely necessary as well as a work, career and material things, but life goes beyond that. How many people at the end regret for not taking the opportunities they had to live, to have some adventures and experiences? There is nothing better than to look back your past and be able to say; “I lived and lived very well. I enjoyed life, this world and everything it had given me, I made mistakes, but I learned from them.”<br />
<br />
<br />
Our time is not eternal. Each second, minute, hour, and day we waste is gone, and gone forever. To overwork for something you won’t enjoy is as silly as having the opportunity to live but to prefer to exist in order to talk about the ones who really live. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mzS9rTZuUOM/TtJrTFCTFqI/AAAAAAAAAuI/xIIP1-buTb0/s1600/2010-09-20-tomorrow-never-comes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="118" width="324" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mzS9rTZuUOM/TtJrTFCTFqI/AAAAAAAAAuI/xIIP1-buTb0/s320/2010-09-20-tomorrow-never-comes.jpg" /></a></div>dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-23399453489922123392011-10-27T21:38:00.000-07:002011-10-27T21:38:02.375-07:00Do you have an answer?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KqS2dpinAWE/Tqou_tPgb7I/AAAAAAAAAtc/d20NxGH68rU/s1600/407432.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="206" width="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KqS2dpinAWE/Tqou_tPgb7I/AAAAAAAAAtc/d20NxGH68rU/s320/407432.jpg" /></a></div><br />
I always used to walk very fast. It had become a habit for me from childhood. Unknowingly, I would also keep my head high and straight. Many have asked me if I had worked in the army! Others concluded that it was because I was so proud that I kept my head high and walked as if I didn’t care for anyone else or the rest of the world. I walked as if I was kept on a cruise control. Even if I tried to walk slowly with all my effort, after some time, I would pick up speed.<br />
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Sometime back I was at the corniche for my daily walk. It was a weekend and there were many people perched on the low wall at the sea side, enjoying the sound and sight. The weather was good and I walked enjoying the gentle breeze. I was at my usual speed and suddenly heard a clap and a call<br />
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“Sadeek !” (Friend ! )<br />
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I was surprised to find it was a young local girl clad in the traditional burkha.<br />
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“Shuf ! Minnak phi radar” (Careful! There is a radar ahead!)<br />
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I never could believe the girl had such a sense of humor and more than that, the guts. Traditionally, the local girls shy away from outsiders. Times have changed. She had a hearty laugh and so too others who heard it. A group of boys sitting on the other side,probably watching the girl than the sea, clapped and encouraged as well. That was a pleasant evening.<br />
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<br />
Our hospital was spread out in a very large area. There were long corridors running criss - cross at many levels. I could easily walk about 200 metes from the ward to the out patient clinic. As always, my walk would always be fast and people would think I was running to attend an emergency or the sort. Over time, the staff got used to this, and they would not bother even if I hurried for an emergency.<br />
<br />
One day I was on my way to the clinic when I heard the call form Venki. He was our senior male nurse at the emergency. I paused for him.<br />
<br />
‘What is your secret, doctor? “He asked as he came near me.<br />
“Of what?”<br />
‘Your speed, doctor, how do you manage to run like a horse at this age?”<br />
<br />
I didn’t like the question and specially his mention of my age. That reminded me of my age, which I don’t remember at other times.<br />
<br />
He guessed from the expression on my face and just grinned.<br />
“That is a secret I don’t usually share”, I said and walked away<br />
<br />
When I reached home, I felt a kind of severe fatigue and tiredness. I went to bed after taking some pain relievers and couldn’t get up from bed for at least three days. Every inch of my body ached and I couldn’t move.<br />
<br />
From that day, if I see this guy, I would take a side turn in another direction and escape. Because this has happened to me on more than one occasion.<br />
<br />
I don’t know if you would believe such a story, especially from a doctor. But I had the same problem more than once, for it to be a chance. On another occasion he said<br />
“Doctor, you look too young and bright. Look at me, your same age and people ask me why I haven’t retired”<br />
The same day my back ache and kidney stone started giving me trouble and I was forced to bed for a week. My knees started making that crepitus which I had never heard before!<br />
<br />
During my younger days, we had some very notorious persons like this in our neighborhood. There was this woman near our home. People would always hide anything good from her. If the mango tree blooms and gets heavily laden and she just looks at the tree and says’ Wow! My goodness, so many mangoes! Can the tree hold them all! And there it goes. The next day you will find all those unripe tiny fruits fallen all around and the weeping tree without a single fruit on it. Or if she looks at a baby and makes a comment “Oh….so cute and healthy looking”, the next day that unfortunate baby would fall sick.<br />
<br />
I don’t know how many of you would laugh at this. Last week I made a visit to my old hospital. I met few of my colleagues and then went to the wards. I met someone at the corridor who was notorious for this kind of comments.<br />
<br />
“Doctor! You look much better!! You have become ten years younger! You must be happier there? More money...Eh? I am sure there are many good looking girls around as well “<br />
<br />
Till this I day I haven’t felt good. Every single day, I have aches and pains. With all my efforts, I manage to go to the clinic and do my work. <br />
<br />
Whenever something good happens, I had this tendency to go and tell it to everyone around. I just can’t hold happiness. On one such occasion, a colleague of mine called me aside and said “Babuchayan, there is no need to tell all this kind of matters to everyone. Tell it to only those you think will wish good for you. There will be others in whom jealousy will brew and might think. ..What the hell...how come he gets everything, all goodness comes to him “ , and then the opposite will happen”<br />
<br />
I don’t know how to explain these things.A friend tells me it is some kind of bad energy.Well,if you believe in good energy,then there could be bad as well. In medicine,we learn that many illnesses work through the immune system and this system is regulated also by emotional and psychological factors.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lrCvFyG5Qhk/TqovUmki85I/AAAAAAAAAto/RCPPxmRwlB4/s1600/41PRrEC5t0L._SL500_AA300_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lrCvFyG5Qhk/TqovUmki85I/AAAAAAAAAto/RCPPxmRwlB4/s320/41PRrEC5t0L._SL500_AA300_.jpg" /></a></div>dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-71174223911171640702011-10-25T07:35:00.000-07:002011-10-25T07:35:08.832-07:00A Stitch in time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KA6C2ChSmwQ/TqY8FMgS0MI/AAAAAAAAAtA/ylhTMV8-uag/s1600/a_stitch_in_time_saves_nine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KA6C2ChSmwQ/TqY8FMgS0MI/AAAAAAAAAtA/ylhTMV8-uag/s320/a_stitch_in_time_saves_nine.jpg" /></a></div><br />
The clinic keeps me busy all the time. I had never thought this could be so demanding.And then,when you finish the work,there is always this last patient who walks in.<br />
Today was the deadline for submitting an article for a local magazine.It is meant for the general public and so I tried to make it as non professional as it could be.I haven't written much of medical stuff on the blog,so I thought I would share it with you.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
“Doctor,can we accept one more patient?”<br />
<br />
It was from the reception. I was going to call it a day and they knew too well that I have never refused a patient.<br />
<br />
Khan( Not the real name) walked in limping,his belly first,and then the rest of him.<br />
<br />
“It is my toe,doctor, he said,while I was flipping through his thick medical file. He had diabetes for more than ten years,hypertension, and lipid disorder, what we could call the ‘triple jeopardy’. A quick look at his file told me that his diabetes was never under control.His toe looked swollen and discolored and lacked blood supply.I was afraid that he might lose that toe.<br />
<br />
‘It is because of your sugar,Khan”, I said. “ Your toe is badly infected and the blood supply is poor”.<br />
He had most of the complications of diabetes. He had vasular problems, neuropathy,and kidney dysfunction.<br />
<br />
“When did you see the doctor last? I asked him.<br />
<br />
“ Six months back. But I bring medicines from home and take them’<br />
<br />
He was no exception. Four months in Family Medical Centre,and I realized that the pattern was not different from what I had seen in the Governmental hospital for ten years.We had always argued and discussed why most of our diabetic patients were not properly controlled.<br />
<br />
‘I am taking my tablets every day’. There ends the effort. No adherence to diet or exercise,no proper monitoring and follow ups. While at the diabetes clinic,I had noticed that more than sixty percent of our diabeteics didn’t follow the advices on life style changes.Most of them had uncontrolled diabetes.<br />
<br />
“ Well,what is the point of taking medicines if your diabetes and hypertension are not controlled?”<br />
<br />
This was a question I always asked patients.<br />
<br />
Most of them do not realize the fearful complications of diabetes.<br />
<br />
Diabetes mellitus is a chronic condition that can lead to dangerous complications over time. These complications can include:<br />
Coronary heart disease, which can lead to a heart attack.<br />
Cerebrovascular disease, which can lead to stroke. 50% of people with diabetes die of cardiovascular disease (primarily heart disease and stroke).<br />
<br />
Retinopathy (disease of the eye), which can lead to blindness. After 15 years of diabetes, approximately 2% of people become blind, and about 10% develop severe visual impairment.<br />
Nephropathy (disease of the kidney), which can lead to kidney failure and the need for dialysis. 10-20% of people with diabetes die of kidney failure.<br />
Neuropathy (disease of the nerves), which can lead to, among other things, ulceration of the foot requiring amputation and affects up to 50% of people with diabetes. <br />
<br />
Many of these complications produce no symptoms in the early stages, and most can be prevented or minimized with a combination of regular medical care and blood sugar monitoring. The long-term complications of diabetes are caused by the effect of high blood sugar levels on blood vessels. For most people, a target for fasting blood sugar and for blood sugar levels before each meal is 80 to120 mg/dl (4.4 to 6.6 mmol/L)<br />
<br />
A blood test called A1C is also used to monitor blood sugar control; the result provides an average of blood sugar levels during the previous one to three months. An A1C of 6 percent or less is recommended; this corresponds to an average blood sugar of 135 mg/dL.<br />
<br />
Diabetes can decrease the blood supply to the feet and damage the nerves that carry sensation. These changes put the feet at risk for developing potentially serious complications such as ulcers. Foot complications are very common among people with diabetes, and may go unnoticed until the condition is severe. It is said that a diabetic should care for his feet,the way a young woman cares for her face.<br />
People with diabetes should examine their feet every day. It is important to examine all parts of the feet, especially the area between the toes. Look for broken skin, ulcers, blisters, areas of increased warmth or redness, or changes in callus formation. Proper foot wear is of extreme importance.<br />
<br />
One out of every four citizens of the United Arab Emirates has diabetes and this is one of the highest prevalences in the world. 70% of the UAEpopulation is at risk for developing diabetes according to current indicators. The UAE's diabetes rate of roughly 20 percent for all residents belittles the global average of 5 percent. Though a genetic predisposition can be given as an excuse, it is the striking change in the life style from hardworking nomadic life to an ultramodern,sedentary way of life which could be equally held responsible.<br />
<br />
The change in life style is almost universal. I remember,as a child, our games and activities were always physical and outdoor. Now the young and old alike are getting glued to computer and television,with junk food for company.<br />
It is alarming to see diabetes on the rise at such a rapid rate. While new diabetes treatments continue to be developed, the disease continues to rise at an unprecedented rate.<br />
<br />
Simple lifestyle changes are proven to be effective to prevent or delay the onset of type II diabetes and control the diabetes in those who have the disease. These include regular physical activity, a healthy diet, weight reduction and smoking cessation.<br />
<br />
Khan was attentive all the while.He appeared a bit apprehensive towards the end.<br />
<br />
“But why didn’t they tell me about all this from the beginning?” he asked.<br />
<br />
This was another issue. Diabetes education is probably the most important part of its treatment. Like in anything else, we lack the time and patience to educate the patient.<br />
<br />
Most of the microvascular complications of diabetes are related to the degree and the length of exposure to hyperglycaemia( high blood sugar levels).New data from studies on Diabetes emphasize the role of glucose control early in the course of the disorder and its value in prevention of later complications.The phenomenon of ongoing beneficial effects on diabetic complications after a period of improved glycemic control ,even if followed by a return to usual (often poorer) metabolic control has been described as representing “metabolic memory” or “legacy effect”.Earlier control of blood sugar is of utmost importance to prevent later complications.<br />
<br />
“ I will do as you say, doctor”. Khan had become very submissive after listening to my sermon.<br />
<br />
“Well,that is a good start,Khan”. There was now a smile of relief on his face.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-51vkAFwGw3k/TqY8PWk_29I/AAAAAAAAAtM/TW8gUKauBnQ/s1600/obese%2Bman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="202" width="304" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-51vkAFwGw3k/TqY8PWk_29I/AAAAAAAAAtM/TW8gUKauBnQ/s320/obese%2Bman.jpg" /></a></div>dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-49702724890401125722011-09-02T12:44:00.000-07:002011-09-03T05:45:54.550-07:00A time for everything.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DRSe0jabVXg/Tl8wPLOrrOI/AAAAAAAAAsc/nnjSI0-SriU/s1600/ecclesiastes3_1-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DRSe0jabVXg/Tl8wPLOrrOI/AAAAAAAAAsc/nnjSI0-SriU/s320/ecclesiastes3_1-2.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Jose had brought his son to the emergency room for some febrile illness. I knew him and his family quite well.<br />
<br />
It was one of my friends who called me from the hospital.<br />
<br />
“Jessie’s husband came with his son to the ER. He collapsed there and lost consciousness.”<br />
<br />
I was at home. I would usually wait for the call of the resident physician. Many doctors get offended if you go and see a patient without their request. But I knew Jessie too well, she was one of my favorite staff members and I also knew her husband. After a difficult start, he had established a business which was growing very well and every thing was just falling in to places.<br />
<br />
Jose had a deep seated bleeding in the brain. We placed him on ventilator and kept him in ICU and later shifted to the care of a neurosurgeon at another center. We wanted him to get the best of options. He died at that hospital with in few days, without regaining full consciousness at any time. <br />
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I have seen how difficult it is for a woman to deal with problems after the unexpected death of her husband. Their business was running smooth till then. Many employees and their numbers were on the rise. Works going on at different locations. Payments were due to be submitted to the banks. Money to be collected from clients. Jessie had no idea about any of these. She didn’t have an idea where the bank accounts were. How much money was to be collected and who all were the clients. How to take care of business transactions. Her children had not finished their education. It was as if suddenly the world has fallen apart. She would often just sit in the pantry and pray. I hadn’t seen her cry much. She had some kind of strength from somewhere. She was a strong believer and her faith had helped her. Though I often entered in to arguments with her on matters regarding faith, I had secretly admired her intense faith.<br />
<br />
I remembered the movie “Places in the heart’(1984) which I had seen recently.<br />
<br />
The Spalding family prays together at the breakfast table. That is how the movie starts. A bite of sandwich and Mr. Spalding gets a call from his work place. He kisses his children, leaves the table and gets shot to death by a drunken boy within minutes of leaving his home.<br />
<br />
Edna Spalding finds herself, after 15 years of marriage, with two small children to support, a farm which the bank is about to take over, no money in the bank and no talent for anything except cooking and keeping house.<br />
<br />
It is the story of an ordinary, simple woman facing the sudden death of her husband, and fighting for the survival of her children, for her land, and for the greatest dream there is...the future. It is a touching movie. It made me cry.<br />
<br />
I remembered this story when I faced Jessie. Hers is not an unusual story. Women who face the sudden death of their husbands are often left with heavy responsibilities and have no idea as to how their husbands were running the show.<br />
<br />
It’s very common for women to feel both financially and emotionally lost after her husband dies on .Women are numb, lost, emotionally drained,lonely, fragile, weak, frightened, vulnerable,and occasionally, guilty. Some of these feelings surface and some stay hidden.<br />
<br />
Death comes uninvited and often suddenly. It doesn’t give us time to hand over business details or say apologies or to say the much neglected words of love to the loved ones. Instead, there is a sudden destruction of the world you used to know. There is no gradual transition, nor time to make changes in yourself, your expectations about your life, or your world. In sudden death you are called upon to face a massive gap between the way the world should be, with your loved one alive, and the way the world is. The person whom you loved, and who provided you with security, is taken away without any warning. This is a major violation of your expectations. <br />
<br />
I have often wondered. What would have happened to us if my father had died suddenly? My mother had never stepped out of our home and had no idea about the outside world. She would never know where my father had kept his accounts. She dint know how to write a bank check, leave alone, to go and buy things for daily needs.<br />
<br />
<br />
Jessie told me. “I’m not the only one. If other women can get through this, I can too. And my God will guide me through” And she was right. There are millions of widows living with the memories of their husband. If the couple shares things such as bill paying, business information and financial details, you’re a step ahead. If not, now is the time to have your banker or a knowledgeable friend teaches you about money affairs. And to husbands.. now is the time to tell your wives what they ought to know about money matters, and tell them what they do not know about your business.<br />
<br />
Sometimes the death of a loved one brings up not only grief for what you lost, but also grief for what you never had and now never will have. For example, if you had a very conflicted relationship with your mother or sibling, when she dies you may grieve not only for what you have lost, but also for the fact that you never had a better relationship with them. You realize you could have improved relationships and given them better care. In such a case you grieve for the past, present, and future.<br />
<br />
One can always learn from the mistakes of others. Now is the time to learn and to reconcile if you have reasons to do so.<br />
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<br />
“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live".<br />
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dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-85956062001116734682011-08-30T23:42:00.000-07:002011-09-03T12:52:53.096-07:00I'm back !<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ej1CN-bx21k/Tl3U0LJelbI/AAAAAAAAAsM/NYtc9nhMFh4/s1600/tumblr%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="214" width="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ej1CN-bx21k/Tl3U0LJelbI/AAAAAAAAAsM/NYtc9nhMFh4/s320/tumblr%2B1.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Ramadan is a totally different kind of life here.The day turns around.People sleep in the day time and work at night.It takes time to get adjusted to this change,and by the time you do that, it is over.<br />
<br />
Our clinic timings had changed.We worked from morning till one in afternoon and then from eight at night to eleven.Weird timing for a clinic,isn't it?<br />
And today Muslims across the world celebrates Eid. All the good wishes of the season to all.Heaven's choicest blessings be showered on to you all!<br />
<br />
Life in the Arab world is different during Ramadan month.The super markets get busier and start stocking food supplies for weeks ahead of the month.Fruits are imported from all over the world.My friends tell me that targets for all sales managers are kept at thrice the average of the usual months.The first thing you notice when you enter any super market is the stacked up food.People fill their car trunks with loads of food material.I find it a paradox and cannot understand why they have to buy so much more when they fast! They probably might be giving to others.Roads are deserted during day time and bustles all through the night.<br />
<br />
I had little time to come to the internet.Some old friends used to peep in at my blog to see if I were around.Hepzibah (<a href="http://hephzibahisrael.blogspot.com/"> NRI girl</a>) was regular at it.She asks “ Hello,any one at home?”It was good to see there are friends who spend time at that.Anil (<a href="http://anilkurup59.blogspot.com/"> Musings</a>) sent regular mails.Balan (<a href="http://mytravelsmylife.blogspot.com/"> My travels,my life</a>) kept contact as usual.Nasrin gets worried and calls me every time if she doesn't see a new post.<br />
<br />
It is difficult to continue writing at all times.As I had written once,the common problem is thaweet Nursing Home't people run out of subjects to write.Well,if we keep to the initial purpose of blogging ( it was supposed to be a daily web log of the sort,where you can write about anything in your daily life.I had seen earlier bloggers who used to write few sentences like "today I went shopping... My little girl is sick and I am taking her to the doctor” and the like. Times have changed and the blog has evolved in to something totally different.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dzAZY41-Ng8/TmKCT0pej7I/AAAAAAAAAss/qM7Bn-01Baw/s1600/Scan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="205" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dzAZY41-Ng8/TmKCT0pej7I/AAAAAAAAAss/qM7Bn-01Baw/s320/Scan.jpg" /></a></div><br /
Doris Plaster <a href="http:/doris-socialworker.blogspot.com/">(A social worker’s blog</a>)<a href="http://doris-socialworker.blogspot.com"> Doris Plaste</a>r sent me a signed copy of her book ' Home Sweet nursing Home'. I felt so happy that she thought of doing it.Some time back,I had suggested to her that she make a compilation of her anecdotes and make them in to a book.And she did it.It is happy to see a fellow blogger becoming a writer,and good at it.She has collected events from her daily life and made them in to wonderful stories in less than fifty words.But each of those small incidents are insights in to human life.If you haven't seen her blog,now is the time to do that.You will be enriched.<br />
<br />
There was nothing more worth mentioning. I am getting adjusted to the change of job, but it is not that easy.And I realize the oft written phrase,” there is no perfect situation in life”.<br />
<br />
Balan asked me about the quote I had placed at the top of my blog.He felt it applied to his life the way I thought it did to my life. For most of us,at the end,life is like that.Regrets about things we could have done and failed to do.<br />
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Life is like that.<br />
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dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-58730531486925158282011-08-01T10:36:00.000-07:002011-08-01T10:36:32.765-07:00Masters of life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hOFtIyUBErA/TjbjyunOflI/AAAAAAAAAr8/huAMbnOpjAA/s1600/Man%252520god.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="298" width="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hOFtIyUBErA/TjbjyunOflI/AAAAAAAAAr8/huAMbnOpjAA/s320/Man%252520god.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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<br />
When a 65 year old woman became pregnant and carried the pregnancy in her own womb, it made headlines. The doctors had pumped in hormones in to that woman to prime her uterus and make it younger to be able to accept and carry the gestation. The ovum was fertilized in vitro and then implanted in the uterus. And finally she delivered a healthy young boy. It was all success for the doctors and propaganda for the clinic. They had just defeated the rules of nature and become powerful masters of life and death.<br />
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The picture of the mother and child occupied the centre pages of most of the magazines for many months.<br />
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Last year, while giving bath , the child just slipped in to the shallow basin of water and was drowned to death. The mother was attending a telephone call. That news also made head lines.<br />
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I have seen many such miracles happen at the hands of doctors, but all the years of efforts and success simply wiped clean by a clean sweep in seconds.<br />
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It was the sad death of the only child of a friend of mine which prompted me to these thoughts. The lady is soon passing the age of pregnancy, and the child was the result of all kinds of medical advancements. Being a doctor couple, they had used all their resources and professional contacts to get advanced fertility treatments. The child died of an obscure illness last week.<br />
<br />
Being a doctor myself, I am likely to get ridiculed when I look suspiciously at the many weird things the present day doctors attempt to do. Advancements in fertilization techniques have given a godly aura to some of the gynecologists. When they think they are able to do something, they start believing they can do every thing. That they are masters of birth and death.<br />
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There was a time when couples who had problems to conceive by natural methods would accept it as a matter of destiny, or for those who believe in God, as His choice. Times have changed.<br />
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God said "I will make man in My image". Now the human race believes that they can take this prerogative of God and not only make, but design men and women to the image of what they think man should be. With that facility they think they can create people, and therefore they think that they can destroy them as well. And that is happening right in front of our eyes. It is time we realize they have very limited ability to create human life. They only have a limited ability to provide the circumstances under which that life will be created by God, but still they take credit for him. I can see eyebrows rising when I talk about God and creation, still. In fact, the best humans can do is to use nature’s laws of creation by putting together egg and sperm or by cutting the cord that maintains physical life with its creator.<br />
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Man's earliest desire of wanting to know has made it possible for him to understand certain things and take pride in them. He then believes he can be like God. He hopes for the supreme power over life and death. And this desire was the reason why we were pushed out of paradise. We are getting impatient and restless with the knowledge we have acquired. And that impatience is leading to all the troubles of the modern world.<br />
<br />
“Perhaps there is only one cardinal sin: impatience. Because of impatience we were driven out of Paradise; because of impatience we cannot return.”<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YGl8GP50YvQ/Tjbj7O7IvtI/AAAAAAAAAsE/RpYaMbqaByM/s1600/950.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="179" width="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YGl8GP50YvQ/Tjbj7O7IvtI/AAAAAAAAAsE/RpYaMbqaByM/s320/950.jpg" /></a></div>dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-24448624459774181662011-07-16T23:25:00.000-07:002011-07-20T09:54:57.897-07:00Becoming a writer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VfO4S1jasDU/TiJ5_Qsl8RI/AAAAAAAAArs/1MoKzsMXJnI/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="278" width="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VfO4S1jasDU/TiJ5_Qsl8RI/AAAAAAAAArs/1MoKzsMXJnI/s320/1.jpg" /></a></div><br />
There are far too many writers on the internet, especially in the blog world who think of themselves as great writers. After having received some comments like “awesome” ,‘excellent’ ,‘fantabulous’, ‘fantastic’ , ‘brilliant’ and so on, we are inclined to believe that we have written some great stuff and continue writing more or less on the same style, assuming that it has become perfect.<br />
<br />
Some of my friends used to invite me for food when my family was away. Over lunch or dinner, the conversation would naturally turn to discussions on food and recipes. The lady of the house would expect to hear compliments on the wonderful creations she has done. If the food was good, I would definitely say so and wouldn’t hesitate to give some compliments. But had it been badly cooked, I wouldn’t say it was good. I was afraid, had I said so, they would make it the same way the next time and then I would have to suffer the same stuff again. Some women think of themselves as good cooks. Their only judges would be their own husbands who would have been afraid to make a proper judgment, for fear of losing his daily food.<br />
<br />
<br />
I was thinking of blogs the same way I was looking at food. If I get a one word comment like ‘awesome’ and 'brilliant', I don’t usually take that very seriously. Like someone who says the food is good without tasting it.They don’t generally mean it. I am inclined to think that the commenter had probably not read it properly or just wanted to write some comments, the way you mark attendance at the school. You make an opinion to disagree, and there goes a follower!<br />
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<br />
How to become a good writer is a matter of serious discussion. There are no short cuts other than that you should have the real inherent skills, the way some people become singers and painters. Practice can make you perfect in many other things. But I am not sure if it applies to writing. A writer must be sensitive, emotional and able to react and then express it in a way that it affects the readers.<br />
<br />
Even though we would find it difficult to become good writers, there are many ways we can look like and act like one.<br />
<br />
When Paulo was young, he told his mother that he wanted to become a writer.*<br />
<br />
His mother asked him” Do you actually know what it means to be a writer?’<br />
“Being someone who writes books’<br />
“Your uncle, who is a doctor, also writes books and has even published some. If you study engineering, you can always write in your spare time (She was trying to make it safe for her son, like most of the mothers do)<br />
‘No, Mama. I want o be a writer, not an engineer who writes books’.<br />
‘But have you ever seen a writer? Have you ever met a writer?’<br />
‘Never, only in photographs’<br />
‘So how can you possibly want to be a writer if you don’t really know what it means?’<br />
<br />
To answer his mother, he did some research. And this is what he learned.*<br />
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(a) A writer always wears glasses and never combs his hair. Half the time he feels angry about everything and the other half depressed. He spends most of his time in bars, arguing with other disheveled, bespectacled writers. He says very ‘deep’ things.( In our set up, I would add the dirty sling bag, and unwashed pajamas faded over years of use, and a smoking beedi on the lips. And if he gets drunk and sleeps on the road side, he becomes a writer of the masses))<br />
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(b) A writer has a duty and an obligation never to be understood by his own generation; convinced as he is, that he has been born in to an age of mediocrity, he believes that being understood mean losing his chance of ever being considered a genius. A writer revises and rewrites every sentence many times. The vocabulary of an average man is made up of 3000 words; a real writer never uses any of these, because there are another 189,000 in the dictionary, and he is not an average man.<br />
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(c) Only other writers can understand what a writer is trying to say. Even so, he secretly hates all other writers. Also the writer and his peers compete for the prize for the ‘most complicated book’<br />
(d) A writer understands about things with alarming names, like semiotics, epistemology, neoconcretism. When he wants to shock someone, he says things like: ‘Einstein is a fool’ or Tolstoy was the clown of the bourgeoisie.<br />
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(e) When trying to seduce a woman, a writer says,’ I am a writer’ and scribbles a poem on a napkin. It always works.<br />
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(f) Given his vast culture a writer can always get work as a literary critic. Half of any such review are made up of quotations from foreign authors and the other half of analyses of sentences, always using expressions like ’the epistemological cut’ or an integrated bi dimensional vision of life’.<br />
(g) When invited to say what he is reading at the moment, a writer always mention a book no one has ever heard.<br />
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(h) There is only one book that arouses the unanimous admiration of the writer and his peers: ’<i>Ulysses</i> by James Joyce. No writer will ever speak ill of this book, but when someone asks him what it is about, he can’t quite explain, making one doubt that he has actually read it.<br />
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Now you are armed with all the necessary tips from an expert author. Go ahead, start writing!<br />
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*<i>'Like the flowing River'</i>. Paulo Coelhodr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com42tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-51026324215471570772011-07-10T09:58:00.000-07:002011-07-16T21:18:40.140-07:00A world of crabs“A woman’s body is the battlefield where she fights for liberation. It is through her body that oppression works, reifying her… sexualizing her.” (Greer G 1999)<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ks5HdghaArk/ThWzw_faS3I/AAAAAAAAAqo/B-TJmuXAI2w/s1600/untitled.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="239" width="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ks5HdghaArk/ThWzw_faS3I/AAAAAAAAAqo/B-TJmuXAI2w/s320/untitled.bmp" /></a></div><br />
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I had known Annie since childhood. She was one of the most beautiful girls in my childhood memory. She would walk to her school every day through the narrow dirt road in front of my home. I was at the school leaving class and she must have been in 8th standard. She always looked fresh and clean and would wear clean school uniform of blue and white, would carry the bundle of books close to her chest, like a mother would carry her child. I would wait for her to pass and she never failed to throw a glance with a tint of smile in it, in my direction. I never had the guts to say a word to her. But I saw her every day till I left my home town and joined the medical college. Thoughts of Annie had come to me often; I don’t know what kind of an attraction I had to her. But I never forgot that face.<br />
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It was almost twenty years later that I saw her again. I had just joined the clinic in Dubai. It took me some time to realize that the voice at the other end was Annie, even after she introduced herself. She had found me from an advertisement of the clinic. There was nothing much at her hand to remind me. “Do you remember me? The girl with the books “, and it brought me back all the memories in a second. I couldn’t believe that she remembered me all these years. We talked for a long time. Her husband was well placed and they had two children, the same age of mine. She came to me with her husband the next day. She had grown older and put on weight, but was still beautiful and full of charm. The old shyness was gone and we talked and talked of old times, all the while her husband listened with a curious smile on his face. They took me often to their home and gave me some of the best food I had in my life. There was the touch of affection and care in whatever she did. They never failed to visit me every week, till they left Dubai.<br />
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I saw Annie again two years back when my daughter in law was sick. I was passing through the Cancer Centre and I had a glimpse of Annie, but when I came back looking for her, she was gone. On another day, she couldn’t escape from me, and then she said reluctantly that she had a small lump in her breast and had come to see the doctor…’but..it is nothing” I guessed she didn’t want me to know about it. She came for Sheri’s funeral, wearing a wig. She had lost weight and had lost the shine in her eyes. No one had to tell me what had happened to her. I couldn’t talk to her much but I could see tears well in her eyes.<br />
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Annie died few weeks back. It hadn’t taken much time for the crabs to eat her up. I was sad that I couldn’t see her and be of some assistance to her in her sickness and suffering. For many days, I had flashes of her smile that disturbed my sleep.<br />
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When I thought about her, I also remembered Mira who was the wife of my friend Khalid. She had died at the age of 28 years from breast cancer.<br />
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It is a world of crabs.<br />
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Historically, the term cancer means “crab” in Latin, and the word ‘karkinoma’ means “crab” in ancient Greek. Hippocrates (460-377 BC), the great Greek physician( on whose name we doctors take the oath of good practices) first compared the swollen blood vessels radiating from some breast tumors to the limbs of a crab, and referred to the disease as 'karkinoma'. The word cancer was later used by Pliny (AD23-79) in his scientific treatise, National History, to mean a malignant tumor. In addition, Cancer has long been used for the Zodiac constellation of the Crab, located between Gemini and Leo. In its natural habitat, a crab is a fast, resilient decapod crustacean that springs to action, moves in multiple directions, and is sensitive to its surroundings. And so is cancer.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2wWsDWYed8A/ThWz_y1XbRI/AAAAAAAAAqw/MrU6haTm83k/s1600/breast-cancer-cell-460x276.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="192" width="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2wWsDWYed8A/ThWz_y1XbRI/AAAAAAAAAqw/MrU6haTm83k/s320/breast-cancer-cell-460x276.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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More than one million cases of breast cancer occur worldwide annually, with some 580,000 cases occurring in developed countries and the remainder in developing countries, despite their much higher overall population and younger age. Recently, at a health conference sponsored by The Women's Record on Long Island, a prominent breast surgeon stated that, because he is ''seeing so many cases of cancer of the breast in younger women,'' he urges ''a baseline mammography for all women at age 35.'' If your doctor doesn't recommend mammography,'' he said, ‘‘Then change doctors.'' All women need to perform a monthly self-breast examination. Untold numbers of breast cancer have been detected by women themselves who, upon finding a lump, have sought prompt medical and life-saving treatment. If a woman finds it too inhibiting to perform this examination, or isn't sure what exactly to look for, she should make a point of having her breasts checked every six months by a doctor or a nurse practitioner.<br />
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<i>Recent studies have shown that young women tend to have more aggressive disease, present at a later stage, have many more issues and problems than their older counter parts and have an altogether poor prognosis. Young women tend to ignore small lumps as insignificant and mammography is not as sensitive in the young because of the density of the breast. A delay in diagnosis means shorter time to death. Although breast cancer generally involves women above the age of 50 years, a significant number of young women die of the disease.Young women need to be more vigilant,because there is data to show that they are less likely to survive the illness compared to older women.<br />
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The strongest risk factor for breast cancer at a younger age is the history of the disease in a first degree relative.(mother or sister)<br />
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As society, we are preoccupied with breasts. A woman’s breasts are symbol of feminity and sexuality. It is within these breasts that the tragedy occurs, striking at the very heart of a woman’s sense of identity and embodiment.<br />
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It was Annie’s death that prompted me to write this. In a way, I am relieved that I hadn’t seen her suffering the illness. She probably wouldn’t have liked it as well. I like to remember her as the same old Annie carrying her books, close to her chest.dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-25709478103037057272011-07-05T02:07:00.000-07:002011-07-05T06:02:06.327-07:00Changes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0OlXe5k3Ucc/ThLTm5qslwI/AAAAAAAAAqY/WBTqsBL0aBc/s1600/LIfe-changing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="154" width="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0OlXe5k3Ucc/ThLTm5qslwI/AAAAAAAAAqY/WBTqsBL0aBc/s320/LIfe-changing.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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“Unless the pain of where you are is greater than the pain of change, you will never change”.<br />
Bishop Mark Kariuki<br />
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I made a difficult choice recently. Form where I was working continuously for almost fifteen years, I decided to change to another environment. The decision wasn’t easy and it was somewhat painful. Many people asked me why I did that. At my work place, some people really meant what they said… ‘that they would miss me’. Understandable because I was around for too long. Others were just interested to know how much more money it was gong to bring me.<br />
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That is how it goes. We all look at the same thing from different points and see different things. In the last fifteen years, I have found that almost all the doctors had left the hospital for better prospects. I had been offered better terms on many occasions. But I decided to stay back .I was happy where I was. The money was less, but the work was comfortable. I was thinking, if it is eventless and flows quiet, do you have to stick back for the rest of your time? Why was it that others had left and changed jobs many times over within the same time?<br />
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But then I also realized that you become stale if you stay at one place for too long. People take you for granted and some people would even think that you are sticking on because you don’t have other options. It is also true that as you get older the options get lesser. We are also not tuned to changes. Our parents or relatives would have joined some government service and worked there till retirement. My brother worked for the postal department and retired at the same place. Another brother joined the electricity department as an engineer and retired from the same department. Changes were difficult those days and options were limited.<br />
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We are people who do not change. Simply because we are afraid of changes. Or we are too lazy for changes. We don’t want to leave the comforts of home. Or we do not want to leave the friends we have made. Or do not want to break the relationships we have entered in to. We fight and argue all through life and make lives miserable for ourselves and others. Still, we would not think of a new life or a new beginning.<br />
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On the other hand, now a day, many in the younger generation change jobs and situations the way they change shirts. They change for better prospects and working conditions. For the sake of leaving their home lands to far away lands they dreamed of. They are no longer afraid of leaving families and loved ones behind. Options are unlimited. There are no sentiments or emotional ties. They have the will to walk away from relationships and do not hesitate to break the bondages of families.<br />
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I am not for unwarranted changes. But I believe there is nothing wrong in trying if a change is needed. And no reason to be afraid. Often ,changes end up for your own benefit. I had often thought, if I had lost my job, it would be finally good, because I could be in my home town where I was born and always wanted to live, and I could be with my family and friends, whom I had always missed. You don’t gain something without losing something else. If the reason you need to change is not clear, you need to be patient. Do not hurry to make conclusions about its value. Give yourself time to prepare emotionally and psychologically.<br />
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The concept of making changes to life is not the same for all, seems easy for some and frightening for others. The familiarity with the familiar and the already known is always safer and it safeguards from the fear of change, the threat of new and the fear against the unknown.<br />
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You don’t have to hit rock bottom before you are motivated to change. You don’t have to wait until the doctor tells you that you have diabetes and high blood pressure before you choose to take decisive action with your life style. You don’t have to go broke before you confront your fears, stop procrastinating and get your act together. You don’t have to wait until you get a diagnosis of lung cancer to choose to quit smoking. You don’t have to wait until your estranged loved one is on his deathbed before you make the effort to reconcile and say’ sorry”.<br />
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The denial to change stems from the fear of loss. When you have doubts about a change in your life, ask yourself what is that you are afraid to lose? Is it about control? Is it self-respect, freedom, familiarity, income, or comfort? Discover the root of fear and try to get over it. Accept that the discomfort, doubt and uncertainty are all by-products of change. The more familiar you are with these feelings, the more you will be able to distinguish the real effects of change.<br />
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I have long wondered about this. And I’ve come to realize that it fully depends on how fed up you become and how badly do you want it. It infuriates people to hear that, but it is because it means we have to own up, take responsibility and make the necessary change. As humans we naturally take the path of least resistance; we have to fight to go in a different direction. The belief that you can suddenly stop everything and make a fresh start is utopian: regardless how much you want to leave the past behind you. The best way to make a change is to face your past and plan for the future.<br />
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I have been through many difficult pathways. I am a stronger person from this passage. I have learned from my past. I am happy with where I am today and I can try to be happy where ever I am tomorrow. My life has taken me in a full circle. I am not a shadow anymore. Changes in my life have kept me going. I love my past. I love my present. I’m not ashamed of what I’ve had, I am not thrilled by what I had either, and I’m not sad because I have it no longer.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MGMlhkVnxMg/ThLTyI-ktqI/AAAAAAAAAqg/iMhY_EalvPw/s1600/252542021_affccf197c_z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="253" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MGMlhkVnxMg/ThLTyI-ktqI/AAAAAAAAAqg/iMhY_EalvPw/s320/252542021_affccf197c_z.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle”<br />
- Albert Einsteindr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-77721284332841508942011-06-25T06:50:00.000-07:002011-06-25T08:46:18.146-07:00A farewell<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yROE4KbhakQ/TgXharwIGQI/AAAAAAAAAqA/o_qv9TgihW4/s1600/farewell.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="315" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yROE4KbhakQ/TgXharwIGQI/AAAAAAAAAqA/o_qv9TgihW4/s320/farewell.jpg" /></a></div><br />
So there I was, sitting with the hospital director and our tech director on either side, listening to all those good words about me. We have had frequent farewell get together recently because many of our staff were leaving the hospital. I had always wondered when I would be at the receiving end.<br />
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It is a sad and nerve wrecking experience. I had this vague kind of restlessness and embarrassment from weeks before I was leaving. I was reluctant to meet people and say farewell to them. I knew I wouldn’t be a good performer at that. Many would have thought why I had left without saying a word. That was easier for me.<br />
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I had made some wonderful friends at the hospital, mostly among the nurses. Being a doctor I know there are some unique qualities in the medical fraternity.. Ego is the one thing that leads us. Every doctor probably thinks he is the best. They usually cannot bear the experience of listening to someone talking good about another colleague. So, I was not at all surprised at the reaction of some of my colleagues. Many were prominent by their absence. Because they wouldn’t feel comfortable listening to all those good words. All that stuff spoken during a farewell are not probably meant. No one talks ill of a person when he leaves. That’s all about it.<br />
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The nurses who had worked with me were sad that I was leaving. I have some of my best friends among them.<br />
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Fifteen years is not a short span in any one’s life. I have been around Khorfakkan that long. I came to this place as a young energetic man and have grown old in age and profession. I have learned more about life than about medicine.<br />
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There are people who can never be happy. They always find reasons to be unhappy. There are some who don’t feel happy if good things happen to them in life. They can only be happy if bad things happen to others.<br />
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All through my career, I have taken care not to snatch something belonging to others. Still some are unhappy when you get what ever was over due. I have learned not to trust people with personal matters. They always reach where they shouldn’t.<br />
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I feel sad about leaving this hospital. I don’t know why I have made this decision after so long. Changes are inevitable in life. I was getting bored with working at the same place for too long. I know it is going to be difficult to start a new job where every one would be looking at you and whatever you do till they get to know you well. I know I am kept under a microscope, like a bacterium.<br />
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I would definitely miss my friends at the hospital. I have spent more time with some of them than with my own family. I would miss the cleaning staff who would say good morning to me all along the corridors, Sr. Fathima who made me the best coffee in the world, the ‘professors’ and ‘preachers’ as I called some of them, and all the rest of them with whom I used to laugh and joke. They had made my life easier. They stood by me during difficult times.<br />
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I was reminded of what Paulo had written about Manuel*.<br />
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“Manuel works for thirty years without stopping. He brings up his children, sets a good example, and devotes all his time to work, never asking: “Does what I am doing have any meaning?’ His one thought is that the busier he is, the more important he will be in the eyes of the world.<br />
“His children grow up and leave home. One day, he receives a watch or a pen as a reward for all those years of devotion. His friends shed a few tears, and then, the moment arrives… “ <br />
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“One night an angel appears to him in sleep: What have you done with your life? Did you try to live your life according to your dreams?”<br />
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It is a difficult question for those who had dreams to live.For me....it is too late to ask all that. I would rather go to sleep than answering that question. But.. .has he written about me? He doesn’t even know me!<br />
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Work is a blessing when it helps us to think about what we are doing. But it becomes a curse when its sole use is to stop us thinking about the meaning of life.<br />
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So, at the end of fifteen years I walk out of the hospital, not only with a watch, but with a camera, many more gifts and a heart full of memories. <br />
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That is how life is and I am consoled by the verse ( Ecc 3)<br />
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" To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven..."<br />
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* <i>Like the flowing River. Paulo Coelho</i>dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1069457624670089531.post-45984851983259935812011-06-13T06:38:00.000-07:002011-06-13T06:41:47.645-07:00Template Moods<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7w9dZSxabmQ/TfUVRi2j-cI/AAAAAAAAAoI/CtTxyMNEYrs/s1600/colorful_easter_1600x1200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7w9dZSxabmQ/TfUVRi2j-cI/AAAAAAAAAoI/CtTxyMNEYrs/s400/colorful_easter_1600x1200.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Over the last few days I received some mails from friends asking me why I had changed the appearance of my blog. Most of them seemed to like the change, I don’t know if they seriously meant it. Or just wanted to agree with the change.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Then I asked myself why I had done that. Looking at it, I found I had some reasons. My blog had the picture of an old man with a camel against the background of a sunset in the desert. The whole picture was fiery red . The rest of the template was black with tongues of flames on either side. Altogether ,red and black and the gloomy figure of the old man with a lantern walking towards the end of nowhere, as if in search of something so far far away.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Over a period of time I got bored with that old man. My mood when I chose that template was one of anger and resentment, which changed to some kind of gloominess and then some vague indifference.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">When I decided to change, I had no doubts about the color. I always end up with blue. Most of my shirts are blue or some shades of it. Even if I go to the shop with the idea of buying something of a different color, I end up coming back with something in blue. I don’t know if you would believe, a friend of mine once bought me a birthday present.. a gold ring on which was set a blue sapphire. I asked her why and she said that was my birth stone.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Don’t we have personal choices of colors? I tried to find out some information on colors and mood and stumbled up on some interesting facts. Look at the description of colors below and see if it has something to do with your own choice of colors and your moods.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Red</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Red is a stimulating and energizing color. It also enhances self-assurance.. Red is the most intense color choice. It is bright, vibrant, and draws the eye. It is the color of love, and also of anger. It is a hot and passionate color. In the bedroom, red light helps sexual activity, and could lead to active nights.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Yellow</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Wearing yellow will rejuvenate and balance the mind. It wipes out the feeling of heaviness and oppression. Yellow is sunny and reflective and is a pensive color. It will lift ones mood to be positive and optimistic.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Orange</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">This is also the color of love.. Wear it to lift your love life. Orange is a very high energy color imparting boldness and distinction. Like red and yellow, orange is stimulating. It is an antidepressant and also stimulates the mind. Anyone with a desire to sharpen and add focus and purpose to their life can do with a little orange.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Green</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Green is relaxing and tranquil to the eyes. It reduces stress and brings a feeling of tranquility. Wear it to inspire harmony in others and restore your energy. It represents dependability and tactfulness. Green is also reminiscent of nature and serenity.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Pink</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">The color pink is trendy. It is a girly color and is a symbol of innocence and beauty. Pink has a soothing effect. It also speaks of pure love. It is a romantic color, while red is hot and passionate. It also is bright, vibrant, a strong and healthy color.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Blue. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Blues are amongst the most relaxing of colors, reminding viewers of summer skies and ocean water. Blue causes a slight psychological change which results in people feeling less hungry.. Blue is also regarded to be effective for increasing wisdom energy. It is the color of peace, tranquility and is excellent in increasing spiritual meditation and healing. Blue is also something of a paradoxical color, because in certain settings it can appear cold, formal, and sad. “The Blues” got their name from the sad aspect of the color.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Purple</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Purple balances the mind, brings serenity and combats fear. It’s connected with psychic powers and helps wake up that aspect. It is also the color that speaks of royalty. The color purple rarely appears in nature, so overuse of this color can appear artificial.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">I was not planning to write on colors, but ended up just doing that. I wanted to ask how often would you change the appearance of your blog or would you do it at all.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UK8dXtGRhqg/TfUVrtVFRjI/AAAAAAAAAoQ/Oq3XEM2akmw/s1600/thumbs_colorful-vector-templates-design1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UK8dXtGRhqg/TfUVrtVFRjI/AAAAAAAAAoQ/Oq3XEM2akmw/s400/thumbs_colorful-vector-templates-design1.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kS7VrdTO_Os/TfUWgzOp3XI/AAAAAAAAAoY/2-uK7EiqO6E/s1600/a-free-wallpaper-representing-an-abstract-modern-colorful-city-.0.27.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kS7VrdTO_Os/TfUWgzOp3XI/AAAAAAAAAoY/2-uK7EiqO6E/s400/a-free-wallpaper-representing-an-abstract-modern-colorful-city-.0.27.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">When I started the blog I experimented with many themes and colors before choosing one. My choice of colors and theme was just natural. Over a period of time, readers connect the appearance of the blog to you and your personality. I don’t know if others think the way I do, but I sometimes get an impulse to make a change. But how often can you do it? Frequent changes can erase the mental image of a blog that the reader has. Can also irritate some readers, for sure. I change the colors when I myself get bored looking at it. Not because anyone has complained.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">It is true, content is the king of the blog. But kings need good castles too ! Having good content is the priority but a good design can definitely compliment. Clutter and difficult navigation can be avoided.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Custom made templates will cost you. But there are far too many designs available free. Wear the color that fits your mood and the nature of the blog. Changes are a matter of personal preferences.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">I am no expert. But these are tips I got from experts.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br />
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</span></div></div>dr.antonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.com30