Years of pain

Father,not my will, but Thine will be done

Acha,

I had written a long comment-as painful as it was....and then some thing goes wrong with the system and I lose it all....

I was about to curse the turn out of things and then I remembered - "Why should I and whom should I curse - God? -should He be the one responsible for all of this crap that has befallen our lives??"

This is small in comparision to the larger things that go wrong on an on-off basis in life ...(I have been taught that by this period in my life....), so if that loss has hit you, no other loss should!!! And I take what has transpired with a smile and start writing again.....

Sheri- I always used to say was my first baby, though we have our lil Kevini...everything about her was child like - her smile, her innocence, her talks, her reactions to situations..everything!!!

I sometimes ask God-why her? And I sometimes console myself thinking that maybe there was some purpose to be served-do I need to lead a more meaningful life? Should I be of use , should I be a source of support for the less privileged ones? Sometimes I think that the answer is Yes - if she has left for heaven and I still continue to be as carefree about life as I was - what purpose did her death serve? And so my choices since then were influenced by this mindset, and so you know...!!!  No regrets - she is happy for me as she always has been..!!!

I miss her in my life beyond what I can say or express..some days are just killing...still I live on...a day will come for everyone...and its easier to accept if one believes in God and HIS unfailing plans...one day..one day..we will surely re-unite...in God's abode..!!! Till then, I guess I have no choice but to play my role in God's plan with unfailing devotion and commitment to the entrusted roles...!!!

Death is no longer scary, if our Sheri can take it, we should too and more readily....so in a sense we have emerged stronger in tragedy!!!  I don't necessarily agree with what has transpired in our lives, and her loss is just outright painful...but there's no choice and when we are are in that state...just remember the saying" Beggars can't be Choosers"...God chose not to give and therefore, let's just hope in all earnest that wherever she is God is taking good care of his daughter who stuck to her faith even on her deathbed...!!!

Sheri loved her freedom, she was like a bird, and I guess she is free now....free from pain, from  the anguish this world gives....I am in a sense happy for her....when I think about the pain that she underwent...!!!God is kind.....!!!

Some people spend their entire lives doing stuff to earn a place in God's abode, some do more than their share...such people HE calls early....simply put that's it!!!

Our angel lives forever in our hearts.....she has left a mirror image of herself for us to remember her by - our Kevini-let's be thanful we have him!!!

God Bless!!! 

This was the comment my son had written on my post " A night light in darkness". I had mentioned the pain of everyone in that post,except his.

Five years of painful memories!