Yes, maybe you guessed it right. It is the opposite of “A beautiful Mind”. Sylvia Nasr’s award-winning biography was a drama about the mystery of the human mind, triumph over incredible adversity, and the healing power of love. If someone would choose to write on a perverted mind, they could pick on us, Malayalis.
Malayali men are universally acclaimed perverts. Are there eye brows rising? Don’t be angry at me. Any woman who passes through will vouch for that. We have many other perverted attitudes unsuitable to the present day culture.What I have seen in life is that those who talk too much about principles and morality are the worst perverts. They try to hide their true colors in the camouflage of religion and moral talks.
What provoked me to write this is a recent incident. A TV channel was showing two girls being arrested for charges of prostitution. I was wondering, how in the world could the camera crew reach a scene of arrest unless it was informed and well planned? Obviously this means the police who had gone to the place had tipped the TV channel of their adventure in advance. The unfortunate girls were trying to hide their faces from the camera, and all the while the cameras were chasing them, trying to get as close pictures of every part of their body. The men involved were totally ignored. Who is interested in seeing them?
I had written once on the Malayali morality. Now I believe we have genetically perverted minds. What is so exciting about two poor girls caught for prostitution? The truth is that the Malayali craving to see such perverted activities never ends. I don’t think such events happen even in the neighboring state of Tamil Nadu.
Most Malayalam channels beam programs on crime… murder, rape..nothing else. Without any shame they display the mutilated bodies of men and women killed or raped. What is this craving?
Ours is basically a sex starved community. We are afraid to talk to women in public, but secretly desire it. We crave sex, but will never agree that we do. Our men use every chance they get to touch and paw women, whenever and wherever they can. That is why they crowd at public places and festivals. The way the men look at women and the obscene comments they make, is repulsing. They forget they have mothers, sisters and daughters at home. They talk about women as if they are a commodity and use the words like Charakku,Stuff,Vedi.. without any inhibition.
One might ask, why are you using the word ‘they’? Like they asked the companions of Jesus” Aren’t you one of them?”
Just because I was shy to join the group, but you can include me, fine.
I can make an amendment. I agree, not all men are alike. There are good people as well, like everywhere else. But it is the general attitude I am talking about.. We act as the moral police of the world.
One cannot go to a hotel with a woman, be it your wife or sister. Everyone looks at the woman as if you have snatched her from somewhere. Even the attitude of the receptionists is the same. I was wondering. Isn’t there something called consensual sex? Haven’t we got the right to have sex if it is mutually agreed up on and desired? Or is it a crime to have sex? Or is it that marriage is the only license to have sex? Then it makes the purpose of marriage as sex. Or is sex only meant for procreation? Or is it that someone who doesn’t want to get married will never be allowed to have sex? Isn’t there something we call a biological necessity? Or, isn’t it a human right?
Some time back a blogger had asked a question on legitimizing prostitution. I argued in favor of legalizing it. It is highly desirable in places like ours, where we have a morally obsessed community and a bunch of hypocrites in the Police department. Poor women will be saved from the atrocities of police. They could make a living and feed their starving children, though it is at the cost of their own health.
It is our attitude which has virtually turned God’s own country in to Devil’s own.
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| Photo courtesy The Hindu.. |
I agreee with you 100%. I was horrified to see the scenes of a crime that happened recently,in which the husband shot and killed his wife and then shot and killed himself.The channels showed as if they could go on showing it forever.
ReplyDeleteAs usual the camera is not interested in men who are involved in prostitution cases,only interested in the women who did 'crime' with invisible men.What a shameless bunch of generation we are turning in to,it's almost scary.I never felt scary going out at night alone when i was outside this country.But i dont feel comfortable going with my family for a second show movie in this 'God's disowned state',as you never know when a drunkard would feel like poking his toe from behind your seat.
I agree with you
ReplyDeletePerhaps, one is being unfair in criticising a particular community/state.
ReplyDeleteHave you done any analyses on what is happening in other states?
Doc, While I agree with what you said, I will join Mr Chowla in asking you his question.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe outrage is understandable. But like the other gentlemen who expressed the view, "have you an idea as to what happens in other states and other communities".
ReplyDeleteAs for legalizing prostitution yes I vote for that. It may lessen hypocrisy of the society to a considerable extent.
Most of all there is an element of perversion in most men, do nt you think so?,
For the short time I have stayed in Kerala, I think it is quite better than most places...The south is great on the whole but the North where I have spent most of my life is unsafe for women...Delhi is the worst.
ReplyDeleteIt's a man's world...women have to struggle in it...even a husband who is angry will say something about the sexuality of a woman...it is a show of power and control...Men need to change the way they think about themselves and about women.
its True ..the topic u have raised...Perverted minds..but lemme tell you something..I live in an open society in US where everyone has a freedom ..but in-spite of all the intimacy seen publicly..I still see men..craving for women....
ReplyDelete..India its more CUz of Conservative society...every state and religion in India has that more or less...Punjab has lots of eve-teasing ..I was in India five yrs back..It was surprising to see educated men behaving in parties as if they have never seen women!
its SAD..
very true...but it is not restricted to just one community....it prevails almost everywhere.....
ReplyDeleteYeah, it is true, that there's a lot of hypocrites around us, as if they did only right things. judging people who are caught on the act...condemning to that person as if they are perfect...as what Jesus said to the hypocrites bringing the prostitute in front of Him...what we are going to do with this woman caught on the act having sex to a man..Jesus said who among you did not commit sin will throw first the stone.....
ReplyDeletemy question is, they caught a woman on her immorality and condemn her, even they are ready to stone her to death..and where is the man now? the man is always out of the scene... everything blame only for the prostitute...to justify their self.."Who among you did not commit sin,? (adultery, immorality, corruptions, etc.) I'm not condoning sin, but not let the world knows the crime she committed.
more power to you Dr. Antony!!
And I always thought that since Kerala is so ahead in education, it must be the best place.
ReplyDeleteDr. Anthony, spot on I must say! Woman is always an easy target and people fall for sensationalized news. And what more can be more sensational than the unfortunate woman caught and trying to hide her face?
ReplyDeleteI think prostitution should not be made legal. A pimp would find ways to make a certificate of 11 year old as 19 year old and get away with law. At least if its illegal, proper action against pimps can be take (among many other things, this is one I can think about). Al the prostitutes shoud first know the law.
Its not illegal to involve in sexual activity by choice for money. What is illegal is soliciting/pimping/dealing with middleman.
Totally agree with you, we make a sensation over somebodys plight .. the prostititues are guilty but so are the men they are equally responsible... its interesting here in uk i rmember because of winters coming its going to start to get darker soon so we are going about doing all this ..
ReplyDeletebut here the man wud be arrested first no questions asked
our media needs to grow up ...
Bikram's Blog
@ Meera. thanks for the comment.there can be some amount of curiosity,not crossing limits.But this is three much!
ReplyDelete@ BKC, And Balchandran.
it is easier to get statistics on medical data.It is common knowledge in the medical field that our data are not reliable. We have enough data,but no standardized methods of documentation.Often,the data itself is manipulated.
It is nearly impossible to get data on the behavioral pattern of people.Some amount of eve teasing would be there everywhere,I agree. We can only draw conclusions from what we see around us.
Is it news in Delhi or Bombay or UP if two prostitutes are arrested?Do they appear on television? I don't know. Is it against law in other states to go to a hotel with a friend?
I have information from my friends at Trivandrum that people cross the border to Nagercovil or Cape,to spend week ends there,because it is safe there.There is no harassments at hotels.
Available data does not show that Kerala is at the front of sex related crimes. There are other states like UP ahead of us,and Calcutta apparently has the least reported crimes.But,these data are unreliable according to the sources themselves,because of poor reporting rates of such crimes.
Leaving that, I was talking about a behavioral problem.Along with claims come responsibilities. Kerala makes claims on many fields. Literacy,education,awareness,health and what not? Then,they should behave accordingly.They should know what are the rights of an average human being any where.They should also know that no one has given them to act as the moral police of the world.The only thing they do not do there is stoning the women to death!
@ Kurup
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree. Some thing we call the 'secret garden' of our minds.But,most of us keep it under lock and safe,never letting it out.That is where our education and upbringing teaches us how to behave.
@ Nalini
You were lucky.Two of my wife's cousins were brought to Trivandrum for college education. Young girls who had just finished schooling and never lived in Kerala before.They had spent their earlier days at Zambia. They went back after two weeks,because they couldn't stand the picking and pawing in the city buses."Africa is much better" they said.
There is another point.They pick on the weakest of the women they find.Basically those who do these acts are cowards,who do not want to show their faces.And that is why they choose public places for the activities.If the woman looks strong and tough,probably they would be left alone.Many of our girls travel in the city transports with needles and sharp instruments concealed in their hands to deal with these perverts.But is it the sign of a developed society?
Very sad affairs !Two years back a girl was stripped naked by locals after a clash between the members of a rally and the locals(incident had happened just few mts away from my house). The incident made headlines every where .Her naked picture was on newspaper,tv everywhere...i still don't understand why those so called intelligent media people chose to publish her pictures.
ReplyDelete@Doc I must agree with you on the article. However I differ on the pictures. Isn't it sad that you too found only women's pictures to post here?
ReplyDeleteHope I haven't offended your spirit @Doc! Just sharing my honest opinion...
~NRIGirl
pictures Dr Antony has did not show any nude woman with a face. so you cannot compare. He has a good point in his writing.
ReplyDelete@all friends who responded
ReplyDeletethanks for your comments.
@ Kavita..The media overplay the whole thing.Ant thing which brings viewers.
@NRI girl. I was just trying to show the helplessness of women. If any of you feel offended,I can remove it.
@ Anonymous. Thanks for the support.Pl visit as often as you can.
@ madhu. It is a matter of dispute. But if you seriously look at it,it would save these unfortunate women,lots of troubles.The maximum torture is from Police. Recently a woman was arrested for charges of prostitution,taken to Police station at trivandrum,where she was repeatedly raped by the policemen who were on duty. They "sent out" the women police on duty!
@Bikram..who is interested in men?
No offense @Doc. Not at all. My point was anytime we talk for it or against it, we project the women forgetting the other party involved.
ReplyDeleteThat is exactly what you are saying in your article too, but the picture only shows women...
I found that interesting not offending.
Keep up your good work. Write more... Have a great weekend.
~NRIGirl
This is a very interesting post. We have a TV program here in our country called "Cops", where a camera crew rides with the police in their cars and follows them when they are trying to stop the perpetrator and put the camera right in the suspects face. The police also set up stings to trap and arrest drug users and prostitutes. I don't think this is fair, especially when they use a police officer to do the trapping. Thank you for coming by and leaving an interesting comment.
ReplyDelete@All,
ReplyDeleteWhen I read this article, I see Malaylam channels or Kerala as an example.
I think this is not specific to Kerala or India for that matter.
The local American channels (local channels of cities) start the news with the news of rape, prostitution and murder if there is one. America is not sex starved and neither Europe. In some European countries they show X rated movies on TV after 10PM. America is better in that sense but a lot of TV programs are on sex. Even in America, if you go with a lady to a Hotel, they do consider something suspicious unless the lady looks like legitimate wife or girl friend. For example a 50 years guys with 18 years old girl will be looked with suspicious eyes.
Bottom line, it the same situation in every part of the world.
" Isn’t there something called consensual sex? Haven’t we got the right to have sex if it is mutually agreed up on and desired? Or is it a crime to have sex? Or is it that marriage is the only license to have sex? Then it makes the purpose of marriage as sex. Or is sex only meant for procreation? Or is it that someone who doesn’t want to get married will never be allowed to have sex? Isn’t there something we call a biological necessity? Or, isn’t it a human right?"
ReplyDeleteWords worth pondering on.