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Changes

>> Tuesday, July 5, 2011





“Unless the pain of where you are is greater than the pain of change, you will never change”.
Bishop Mark Kariuki



I made a difficult choice recently. Form where I was working continuously for almost fifteen years, I decided to change to another environment. The decision wasn’t easy and it was somewhat painful. Many people asked me why I did that. At my work place, some people really meant what they said… ‘that they would miss me’. Understandable because I was around for too long. Others were just interested to know how much more money it was gong to bring me.

That is how it goes. We all look at the same thing from different points and see different things. In the last fifteen years, I have found that almost all the doctors had left the hospital for better prospects. I had been offered better terms on many occasions. But I decided to stay back .I was happy where I was. The money was less, but the work was comfortable. I was thinking, if it is eventless and flows quiet, do you have to stick back for the rest of your time? Why was it that others had left and changed jobs many times over within the same time?

But then I also realized that you become stale if you stay at one place for too long. People take you for granted and some people would even think that you are sticking on because you don’t have other options. It is also true that as you get older the options get lesser. We are also not tuned to changes. Our parents or relatives would have joined some government service and worked there till retirement. My brother worked for the postal department and retired at the same place. Another brother joined the electricity department as an engineer and retired from the same department. Changes were difficult those days and options were limited.

We are people who do not change. Simply because we are afraid of changes. Or we are too lazy for changes. We don’t want to leave the comforts of home. Or we do not want to leave the friends we have made. Or do not want to break the relationships we have entered in to. We fight and argue all through life and make lives miserable for ourselves and others. Still, we would not think of a new life or a new beginning.

On the other hand, now a day, many in the younger generation change jobs and situations the way they change shirts. They change for better prospects and working conditions. For the sake of leaving their home lands to far away lands they dreamed of. They are no longer afraid of leaving families and loved ones behind. Options are unlimited. There are no sentiments or emotional ties. They have the will to walk away from relationships and do not hesitate to break the bondages of families.

I am not for unwarranted changes. But I believe there is nothing wrong in trying if a change is needed. And no reason to be afraid. Often ,changes end up for your own benefit. I had often thought, if I had lost my job, it would be finally good, because I could be in my home town where I was born and always wanted to live, and I could be with my family and friends, whom I had always missed. You don’t gain something without losing something else. If the reason you need to change is not clear, you need to be patient. Do not hurry to make conclusions about its value. Give yourself time to prepare emotionally and psychologically.

The concept of making changes to life is not the same for all, seems easy for some and frightening for others. The familiarity with the familiar and the already known is always safer and it safeguards from the fear of change, the threat of new and the fear against the unknown.

You don’t have to hit rock bottom before you are motivated to change. You don’t have to wait until the doctor tells you that you have diabetes and high blood pressure before you choose to take decisive action with your life style. You don’t have to go broke before you confront your fears, stop procrastinating and get your act together. You don’t have to wait until you get a diagnosis of lung cancer to choose to quit smoking. You don’t have to wait until your estranged loved one is on his deathbed before you make the effort to reconcile and say’ sorry”.

The denial to change stems from the fear of loss. When you have doubts about a change in your life, ask yourself what is that you are afraid to lose? Is it about control? Is it self-respect, freedom, familiarity, income, or comfort? Discover the root of fear and try to get over it. Accept that the discomfort, doubt and uncertainty are all by-products of change. The more familiar you are with these feelings, the more you will be able to distinguish the real effects of change.

I have long wondered about this. And I’ve come to realize that it fully depends on how fed up you become and how badly do you want it. It infuriates people to hear that, but it is because it means we have to own up, take responsibility and make the necessary change. As humans we naturally take the path of least resistance; we have to fight to go in a different direction. The belief that you can suddenly stop everything and make a fresh start is utopian: regardless how much you want to leave the past behind you. The best way to make a change is to face your past and plan for the future.

I have been through many difficult pathways. I am a stronger person from this passage. I have learned from my past. I am happy with where I am today and I can try to be happy where ever I am tomorrow. My life has taken me in a full circle. I am not a shadow anymore. Changes in my life have kept me going. I love my past. I love my present. I’m not ashamed of what I’ve had, I am not thrilled by what I had either, and I’m not sad because I have it no longer.






“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle”
- Albert Einstein

27 comments:

....Petty Witter July 5, 2011 at 4:25 AM  

What a wonderfully inspiring post - its so good to read of someone who seems truly contented with their lot in life.

Shadow of my life July 5, 2011 at 5:27 AM  

Nice Post. Feels good to read your deep thoughts on life....and I really liked Albert Einstein's “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” well-said. and All the best for your new job...you'll definitely achieve heights at e new place :)

baili July 5, 2011 at 6:07 AM  

i believe that every thing is a miracle,wonderful writing doctor,
i think concept has changing now people dare to take a risk and do not hesitate to step forward,

but it is fact that only those take a chance who have great and strong confidence in them and deep faith in creator,

i believe there will be so many to be inspired by your courageous step.
best of luck god bless

Monalisa July 5, 2011 at 8:22 AM  

Everything is a miracle in life. I have gone through some very painful changes to life, but all through I knew nothing is bad that is coming forth, only different. Pain comes from emotional ties you have with your previous position, and that is the greatest part of human life. The best of our efforts lies where we are sincerely tied at with the service we provide or the work we do.

I've never been a patient under you, but I could really see how good a doc you are. Wish life ahead would only have greater things to present to you. Good luck

Insignia July 5, 2011 at 8:33 AM  

You said it Doc.

I always make sure that I dont comfortable; if it happens, thats the time to change.

But we cant take the same liberty in our personal life.

And about being there at a workplace for a long time, yes people start taking you for granted and think you dont have a choice.

You did the right thing :)

Mishi July 5, 2011 at 9:41 AM  

so it means you are Sahib-e-Haal...a term in Muslim spiritualism called Tasuwuf'uf...a person who lives in his present, happy about his past and not afraid of his future is the one who has wisdom and understanding of life..and they say if you find one, stick with him for as long as you can..so em aint gonna leave you alone now;p

Harman July 5, 2011 at 10:26 AM  

very true to every word...loved the post..
I usually keep telling my husband to move as he keeps getting offers (better) from another companies ..But he is like little hesitant ..as he gets into his comfort zone...I truly believe if it gets monotonous its time to move...

Tomz July 5, 2011 at 11:17 AM  

Within a short span of time, I worked in many firms.and lived in many places (in kerala only). Every time I move from one place to another I used to experience a pain in my heart, even though no such strong bonds exist there ..

incidentally, the theme for the latest issue of the newsletter of my company is change management..

Mary July 5, 2011 at 11:47 AM  

I am always enlightened, informed and challenged when I visit here. It is always a pleasure to stop by.Good luck in your new endeavors. Blessings...Mary

NRIGirl July 5, 2011 at 7:43 PM  

Well said Doc! Inspiring...

kavita July 5, 2011 at 8:08 PM  

Inspiring and motivating too .Thanks .

anilkurup July 5, 2011 at 8:49 PM  

"Changes in my life have kept me going. I love my past. I love my present. I’m not ashamed of what I’ve had, I am not thrilled by what I had either, and I’m not sad because I have it no longer".

That is the bottom line doc.

The rest like for change or dislike is personal. If someone can be happy without change , someone may be happy only with a change .

And sometimes we may not notice that we let change happen because we move with the tide or sometimes marooned that we miss the tide.don't you think?

IRFANUDDIN July 5, 2011 at 8:58 PM  

being a Govt employee i may not have to change work place with times but it does feel like monotonous some times, very inspiring post sir.

Regrds,
irfan.

Anonymous,  July 6, 2011 at 8:35 AM  

Very refreshing! Della

AS July 6, 2011 at 9:25 AM  

hello

nice article!

yes, nothing is constant but change :)

The Brown Vagabond July 6, 2011 at 9:29 AM  

Very well written, Doc! This is a timely post for anyone who is lost in their past and unable to live the present because of a fear of the future.

Cloudia July 6, 2011 at 6:24 PM  

do honor us with more of your worthy thoughts!

Thank you for your kind visits & comments-

Aloha from Waikiki

Comfort Spiral

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Rachna July 6, 2011 at 9:04 PM  

Such valid points and such appealing thoughts doc. Yes, if you stay on for too long, these days people think that you do not have too many options and you stagnate too. No one values loyalty. They actually think that you have nothing better to do. As painful as it must be for you, I think you did the right thing by listening to your heart. And, people judge from their perspective. Whereas, you are the only one who knows how it actually feels! So, keep up the spirits.

Jay July 6, 2011 at 9:28 PM  

very interesting post doc..
thanks for the inspiration..:)
Tasty Appetite

Bikramjit July 7, 2011 at 6:52 AM  

very true.. one gets stale if we stay at one place for too long, others seems to walk by you..

I have recently taken a plunge a BIG plunge into the unknown , will post sometime IF i succeed.. I felt what you said so took the decision .. lets see how it turns out to be

Bikram's

*The Old Geezer July 9, 2011 at 8:59 AM  

Changes in life are inevitable but more often than not we have no choice in the matter.

Meera Sundararajan July 10, 2011 at 9:27 AM  

If there is something that is constant in life it is change says Lord Tennyson in his epic poem " From the passing of Arthur". But I can understand your feelings about change. As we grow older it is difficult to change. The sameness of any situation becomes our comfort zone. I am finding myself in a similar situation after 6 years in a job. I used to change jobs every 2 to 3 years as I felt that beyond that period I was not learning anything new. It is not that I am learing a lot in this present job. It is just that I am becoming older I guess. Good post!

Maths Tutoring October 11, 2011 at 8:05 PM  

Action and reaction, ebb and flow, trial and error, change - this is the rhythm of living. Out of our over-confidence, fear; out of our fear, clearer vision, fresh hope. And out of hope, progress.

Travel Courses Brisbane October 12, 2011 at 9:39 PM  

Everything is a miracle in life. I have gone through some very painful changes to life, but all through I knew nothing is bad that is coming forth, only different. Pain comes from emotional ties you have with your previous position, and that is the greatest part of human life. The best of our efforts lies where we are sincerely tied at with the service we provide or the work we do.

Public Health Nutrition December 15, 2011 at 1:40 AM  

It is one of life's wonder to see some miracles in our everyday experiences. This is perhaps boosted when we nurture optimism inside our hearts and become willing to change for the better.

Scott June 5, 2012 at 12:32 PM  

Great blog! If we try to resist change, it only makes it harder. Way to go.

BTW, where did you get that cool graphic at the top?

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