>> Thursday, February 11, 2010
"Malice is like a game of poker or tennis; you don't play it with anyone who is manifestly inferior to you". (Hilde Spiel)
It is not enough to succeed; others must fail !!
It is hard to beleive it to be true.But have you ever felt your friends ever envied you the same way?
When good things have happened in life,very few showed an appreciation. They stayed away.When I got a promotion at work ( Though it was overdue and not much to brag about ) I found my colleagues and many of my friends responded in irrational ways.I had never seen relationships this way. Some people stopped talking to me. Others started troubling me at work.Many faces appeared stung by wasps. I often wondered who was pouring all this venom on myself. And over time, painfully realised they were all my own friends.Some acted as if I had stolen something from them. I could understand it as simple jealousy.
All of us, at some time other would have felt that emotion.Jealousy is one of those unnecessary evils we burden ourselves with. None of us could honestly say that we have not ever been jealous of more fortunate ones.Well, jealousy is part of life and what matters most is that you will use this jealousy to be more inspired on achieving your goals. As much as we hate to admit it, we've all been jealous of someone else at one time or another. We hate to admit it because the emotion we feel is a deep, dark, nasty feeling. Jealousy is the surface lesion that hints at the real wound: a sense of personal loss, a lowering of self-esteem and, at times, a feeling of self-criticism. These deeper emotions seep out in the form of anger and they can be tough to deal with in the workplace, where there is competition for rewards and opportunities.
Why do we feel envy to a friend? Isnt it a time we should be happy?
The malice of comparing with others.
Comparisons are always harmful. If they are in your favor, they bring false pride in you; if against you, they depress you. Pride can make you overconfident and eventually can be the cause of your downfall. Conversely, with jealousy you lose self-reliance, seek unjust methods of putting down your friend, colleague or relative, and ultimately end up in frustration. So to bring jealousy under your control, avoid comparing yourself with others as much as possible. Think that you are unique because that is how God wanted you to be. Pursue in all seriousness your own ideal, whatever it is. Do not waste your precious time in idle and miserable envy.
Now,to the oddest part of the story.
When bad things happen to you, many appear pleased,and their faces brighten up . They wear the mask of sorrow and come to you to express condolence, and even invite you to enjoy the gestures of their kindness.. It is always acceptable that something good comes out of anything.At least ,looking at it that way, it is good to see your misfortunes are the source of others' happiness.
The emotion of pleasure-in-others'-misfortune is morally evil. It is defenitely less acceptable than envy, which itself is regarded as a deadly sin. It would appear to be morally more perverse to be pleased with another person's misfortune than to be displeased with another person's good fortune. Indeed, to feel envy is human, but to enjoy other people's misfortune is diabolical. Pleasure-in-others'-misfortune is the worst trait in human nature, since it is closely related to cruelty.
"On and on we went, an abbreviation
of small black-winged envies
drunkenly sucking each other’s blood"
Eileen Malone’s poem "Beloved Rival"