>> Sunday, April 11, 2010
Not that money is not important. But I had never experienced money taking over relationships.It appears that money has an intoxicating effect on some and they find it difficult to part with it.Long standing relationships get forgotten easily,when matters of money and wealth creep in.
The truly troubling part is that so many of us have become willing accomplices to what is best described as a war of money against life. It starts, in part, from our failure to recognize that money is not wealth. Wealth is something that has real value in meeting our needs and fulfilling our wants. Modern money is only a number on a piece of paper or an electronic trace in a computer that by social convention gives its holder a claimon real wealth. In our confusion, we concentrate on the money to the neglect of those things that actually sustain a good life.
It's simple, humans are social beings. Just think about how we come into the world. We're born unable to eat on our own. Unable to stand on our own. Unable to even communicate! Our helplessness at birth highlights our need to depend on others. Without the care and love of another being, we would simply die. And it's the same whether you are a child or an adult.
So why we have begun to take relationships and family as less of an importance to other things like careers, money and wealth? If money can't truly make us happy, but people can, shouldn't we invest more time into developing our social skills? Into learning additional ways to connect? We've all heard stories of the millionaires that commit suicide... but still we will sacrifice friendships and family over the pursuit of money.
It is always good to learn to think that we have enough.When you believe in lack, then the logical extension of that is to think there will never be enough to go around and you had better grab what you can before someone else gets your share. The less you think there is to go around, the more motivated you will be to grab even more, out of fear that you may suffer from not having enough. You may even fear it to the point that you start grabbing what might be considered other people's share, and that's when you start being accused of greediness.I have come to believe that whenever we make choices out of fear and doubts, we will find the results unsatisfying. So if greed is based on a fear, it should therefore turn out to be unsatisfying for the one who acts greedy. I can think of examples where this came to pass; but I can also think of cases where the greedy seem to be enjoying the goodies they have grubbed and grabbed for. Is this a paradox?
Some people enjoy collecting money. I had a friend who used to talk to me about her husband ( though not justifiable ! ) He used to keep strict accounts of money and used to sit late nights calculating his savings.Never used to spend a penny.And his nights simply passed ! Her own salary was dictated to go to his account.About ten years back,his target was a crore of rupees in the bank and was only a bit short of it. I am sure he must be chasing his elevated targets these days. This is something like orgasmic experience to some.
Many people tend to forget that there are more important things in life than money and wealth. Ultimately we cant carry any bit of it when we leave.All the efforts of a lifetime are just left behind for someone else to waste or throw around.Often,in the process,relationships are trampled. Many are left wounded.
Healthy relationships with others encourage healthy relationships within (and vice versa). The next time you face problems regarding matters of relationships.... remember what's important in life! I'm learning this too, but here are some things I think can help us all:
Do not let money and wealth creep in to and eat our relationships.People can be around our coffin, shedding tears, money cant, since it has no feelings.Talk openly about your thoughts, fears, loves, dislikes. Don't be afraid to share yourself with others who have demonstrated their love and respect for you. Listen to your friends and family when they speak. Don't make assumptions that you have no basis for. Be honest! Faking interests or experiences just to be close to someone leaves you feeling guilty and anxious. Be honest and trust that you're worthy of love and friendship just the way you are, with or without money and wealth.
Believe in abundance and not in lack.At sometime or other accept that you have enough,and then more to give away.. If you believe in abundance, you can give away much of your wealth and be secure in the faith that you will always have enough. Perhaps that is what proves your faith, and perhaps those who give away their wealth end up having more and being happier with what they have - or at least being happy with what they have left. Philanthropists are admired, while the greedy and self-serving rich are envied or despised.
I think those who accumulate their wealth with greed will punish themselves by being unhappy with their wealth. We do not have to judge them or condemn them - their own choices will create the appropriate consequences for them. Wealth can be a curse, or a blessing. Look at all the unhappy rich people.It is when you have more,that you find it difficult to part with it.
What matters is what we choose for ourselves
A Law the greedy have not learned:
The Greatest Good For ALL Concerned.
What goes around comes round, they say.